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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What Should I Do? Hubby texting other women .....

17 replies

cairnsmore608 · 06/05/2015 22:33

My DH and I have a difficult family situation. We run the family business with my elderly parents that are in the early stages of dementia. My Mum, while never have been an easy person, is becoming increasingly difficult .... We have 3 relatively young kids, one that has 'issues'.

I have been struggling with depression and last year, a so-called friend started helping me ... until she became closer to my DH than me ....

He never cheated, just texted constantly then led to sexting with both her and another so-called friend. It all blew-up after I went away with the kids for a weekend and found out the texts went way to far for my liking ....

So, for the past year, nothing (I was on the verge of leaving last year). More recently, he has again started becoming friendly with someone we both know. They are texting constantly and flirting but no sexting as yet (that I know of ....).

....But with a Mother that lives next door to me but hasn't spoken to me in over a week after her last rant, and a DH that talks more to another girl than me even when I am in the room with him - I feel like a piece of crap!

Any advice???

OP posts:
NaiceNickname · 06/05/2015 22:36

Yes, LTB. Selfish cheating little arse wipe he sounds. Your troubles will be halfed overnight if you pack his bags and tell him to piss off to whatever woman's house he is texting now so they can continue their conversations face to face.

StrongAsAnOx · 06/05/2015 22:38

Yup I agree - he makes you feel crap, he behaves like crap. Get rid of the crap.

JeanSeberg · 06/05/2015 22:39

I bet your depression will miraculously lift when you ditch this disrespectful tosser.

AnyFucker · 06/05/2015 22:39

Get shut of your cheating husband

inlectorecumbit · 06/05/2015 22:40

^^ same as all above

iwashappy · 06/05/2015 22:53

You feel like crap and he doesn't spend time talking to you even when you are in the same room.

He was "sexting" two other women last year including a friend of yours and he is at least flirting with and texting another woman now.

He clearly hasn't learnt from his previous behaviour and unsurprisingly it doesn't seem that you feel loved, cared for and appreciated.

Life is too short to be miserable and your husband is making you feel crap rather than happy. I appreciate that with three children, your depression and concerns with your parents that leaving would seem daunting, but would you really feel worse than you do at the moment.

I am sorry that you have such a lot to contend with. Flowers

Original poster
cairnsmore608 · 06/05/2015 23:16

Problem is, without DH = no family business ....

I have come very, very close to walk away from them all - parents & hubby!

In our situation, simply leaving is not simple at all ....

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 07/05/2015 08:08

The business is only money and you're talking about your mental health and overall well being here.

Time to look into the practicalities of separating - finances, potential living arrangements etc. Do you have a good friend you could confide in?

Theoldcauliflower · 07/05/2015 08:20

LTB!!

Lovingfreedom · 07/05/2015 08:20

You need a good solicitor. It's your family business by the sounds of it. Get advice about either buying him out, him buying you out or selling the business if he has ownership or hiring an alternative manager if he's an employee. Don't let the business confuse the fact that you are in AA relationship (with a cheating, lying man) which is making you unhappy and ill.

Jan45 · 07/05/2015 10:23

He can't be trusted, he is showing you that over and over again, you either put up or get rid, that simple.

Cherryapple1 · 07/05/2015 11:18

yes leave - and can't you run the business without him? He as cheated and you deserve better.

ImperialBlether · 07/05/2015 11:33

Tell us about the business - not what it does, but what happened in terms of ownership. Does your husband perform a role that nobody else in the world could perform? If you two split up would you be able to work together? Is he legally part of the business now?

Oh and I wouldn't stay with someone who was sending texts to another woman like that while sitting in the same room as me! Fucking cheeky bastard.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 07/05/2015 13:28

He doesn't give a crap about you dear. Splitting really is the only way to feel better. And it's very important that you do feel better because you have an awful lot on your plate already.

Who exactly owns the business? Does he have any legal footing in it?

Justusemyname · 07/05/2015 13:33

What domyounvalue more? Your life style or your self esteem? I know it's not as easy as just leave but actually telling him to go is the hard bit. Your life will get easier once he's out of your house. Texting and flirting with another woman is bad enough. Domyou think he'd sleep,with her given the Chance? Though of course what has done already is bad enough.

Drew64 · 07/05/2015 14:59

Has your depression been diagnosed? are you on meds? If the answer to either question is no then get yourself to the doctors soon and start getting treated for this horrible but perfectly treatable illness.
It will take a while but gradually over the coming months you will begin to feel better.
Then you will be better able to address the other issues in your marriage.
Don't throw anything that is perfectly 'fixable' at this stage.

Vivacia · 07/05/2015 17:18

How does going to the doctor stop her husband from being a cheating sleaze?

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