Help. I'm ruining my own life - paranoid.

[Tinytillytot]

I don't really know where to start. I'm horribly paranoid all the time about everything, most of my waking hours. Mainly DP - I'm worried that he's in love with other women. I usually become obsessed with one particular woman and obsess about her for a while until I move on to the next. I know in moments of clarity that its absurd but most of the time i have a horrible knot in my stomach. I'm worried that everyone hates me. I'm worried about things that I did in the past. I will often obsess for days about a conversation I have had in work with someone and convince myself that they think I'm an idiot or a bitch. I can't remember the last time I wasn't anxious or worried. If I'm having a good day or am feeling happy then I will start to actively think about stuff from the past to make myself worried. It's like my brain is my enemy. I'm in my 30s and feel sick knowing I'm wasting my life.

So not to drip feed - On paper my life is great. I have a successful career, i have a clean bill of health, I exercise and am happy with the way I look, money wise im comfortable. I have lovely holidays and good friends. My DP is generally a really good person (there's a voice inside that often tells me he's far too good for me).

I don't know what I'm asking. I just don't want to wake up in 30 years and regret wasting my life. What's wrong with me? Everyone else seems so happy and together.

You are suffering from anxiety.

#mostobviousanswerever

Sorry if that sounds trite, but anxiety, like depression, is a real thing, and treatable.

Talk to your GP, start to find ways to address it. I'm not saying it's easy to address or 'cure', but at least you can start to work on things that are more constructive and productive than finding that you are constantly feeding destructive, depressing and depressing, unwanted thoughts and feelings.

Have you started looking into mindfulness techniques, for example?

I know that anxiety is not trivial, nor is it easy to treat, but if you can do something like starting to practice mindfulness techniques then at least you'll be putting that energy elsewhere, for some of the time, IYSWIM.

OP- I could have written this word for word.

Will watch with interest!

Holy Cow, TTT! That sounds really rough! It sure does sound like anxiety to me, too! Antidepressants can help, they did for me. I also got therapy and that helped. The two together can have a synergistic effect. It is also typical to lose perspective, to think that this is the way things have always been and it is the way things will always be, but that is not true. You can and will get better and re-claim your happy life!!

talking about it will really help- it sounds like you need to get a few thing out in the open- sit in a quiet place and ask your inner self- what is it that is actually bothering you and making you feel anxious- I had suffered with anxiety/stress and its hard to cope with but you can deal with these feelings- it wont be easy- sometimes you are your worst own enemy- I did know the answer myself once I though about it in depth and once accepted- I didn't look back- good luck-