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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Family member under investigation re images on work PC - any advice/info?

38 replies

doubletrouble2015 · 06/05/2015 15:32

Hello,

I'm very new to posting on forums so please forgive the longhand or lack of information, I'm also hoping this is the right place to post judging by other threads in this topic!

I had a visit from SS this morning to inform me that a very close family member is being investigated by the police for accessing and storing illegal images on their work computer. DH and I have 2 DDs who will now only be allowed supervised access to this family member, hence the SS visit. I cannot believe it's true, it just completely goes against everything the individual believes and DH and I are flabbergasted to say the least that it's happening to our family. I'm not sure of the details as I haven't spoken to other family members and I'm waiting for DH to get home from work before making contact.

Does anyone else have experience with this kind of thing? What are the repercussions of being accused/investigated/charged? Is it possible it's malicious? If so how can it be proven and what happens then?

I just can't get my head around it and am hoping to find someone who's been in a similar situation if possible.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Fudgeface123 · 06/05/2015 15:42

I can't offer any advice apart from there wouldn't be ANY visits from your DDs until this is sorted either way.

Sorry you're going through this

Fudgeface123 · 06/05/2015 15:43

*shouldn't, not wouldn't

wallaby73 · 06/05/2015 15:43

I'm really really sorry this is happening to you. However hard it may be, it is unlikely to be malicious and i would caution against you clinging on to that hope, no matter how much it hurts and how "unbelievable" it sounds. Sadly these people do exist, are in every strata of society, and of course it would appear to be inconceivable to you. I think as time passes, more information will come to light. So sorry, and i wish you courage x

Heels99 · 06/05/2015 15:45

Why would you allow them any access to this family member till this is investigated?

Are you concerned that the images could include images of your dcs?

wallaby73 · 06/05/2015 15:46

I echo fudgeface - and i do speak from experience. Your DDs should not come into contact IN ANY WAY until and unless you know more information. It is really not ok to take the line of "but they were never left alone / unsupervised", for many many reasons. Some of which you will not be ready to hear at this stage x

star8369 · 06/05/2015 15:49

I agree with fudgeface my own "father" is in prison for sexually abusing my daughter and when it first came out social services approached me and told me that any contact he had with my children had to be supervised to which I told them there would be no contact at all between them

rumred · 06/05/2015 15:52

Horrible thing to be happening but in my extensive child protection experience it will be clear it's him and not malicious or the police wouldn't pursue it. They occasionally get it wrong, but you need to act as if it's true and protect your children.

I've never come across an abuser who admits it, please bear that in mind. And watching images of children being abused is the actions of an abuser.

The repercussions for you will be minor if you follow advice and protect your children. The repercussions for him will depend on the content of the images and level of involvement. Impossible for you to judge probably at this point.

Hard times ahead I'm afraid. Hope someone comes along who's been through it, there have been similar thread s- have a search for them

FadedRed123 · 06/05/2015 15:52

Innocent until proven guilty, BUT, if the police are advising this then the evidence would appear to me to be strong. As this is a works computer then there is the chance it has been used by other people, but as the previous poster says it would be a faint hope.
This is a very difficult situation to have to deal with and you are right to wait to discuss with DH before you make whatever decisions you feel are in the best interests of your Dc's.
So sorry Flowers awful thing to have to deal with.
(No legal expertise, but third party experience of something similar)

pocketsaviour · 06/05/2015 15:53

Hello, sorry to hear this, you must be horribly shocked.

I'm afraid to say that it's extremely unlikely to be malicious, especially with a work computer, because they are usually locked down with passwords and all activity is usually logged against the username. (I'm assuming the person in question works for a company and isn't self-employed.)

What will happen now is the police will investigate further, they will request database records from the company to prove who was using the computer at the time the images were stored. CPS will then decide whether or not to prosecute. It's my understanding that most accused at this point will plead guilty (provided they admit they downloaded the images) in exchange for a lighter sentence. If they do plead guilty they are likely to get a short custodial sentence or escape one entirely depending on the amount of material and the severity of it. (This also assumes that they are not redistributing the images.)

If they plead or are found guilty then they will be put on the Sex Offenders Register and prevented from unsupervised contact with any children (including their own if they have any.) This of course frequently leads to the breakup of a marriage, if they have DCs of their own.

LIZS · 06/05/2015 15:55

I doubt they would have come to you before having some evidence. It seems very strange to have used a work computer which is more easily monitored and detectable, and would certainly be misconduct if he works for an employer. While images may not be personal ie. Random downloads of anonymous images rather than family members, it is still taken very seriously. Agree with others you are best not taking the dc to see him.

Original poster
doubletrouble2015 · 06/05/2015 15:58

Heels99 - We were informed that the images are of an adult nature, definitely not pertaining to child abuse. I haven't really thought through the access, we don't live close to them but have been seeing them monthly and they along with spouse are our sole support for babysitting etc.

OP posts:
wallaby73 · 06/05/2015 15:58

I would also add, again through experience, that the person almost never admits. There is always a huge story- i was stressed / having a breakdown / but I didn't mean / know / it just started off as/ it's not what it looks like. With huge amounts of self pity. So protect yourself emotionally too.

CheersMedea · 06/05/2015 16:03

Heels99 - We were informed that the images are of an adult nature, definitely not pertaining to child abuse

This makes no sense to me. Why would SS be telling you that your children should only have supervised contact if it is just adult porn?

I'm trying to think what images would be so illegal that the police would get involved - and can only think of gross indecency - like bestiality, extreme violence etc. But the fact that someone is possessing extreme adult porn (or even has very weird/illegal adult fetishes) wouldn't make them a danger to children.

Realistically, it's got to be child porn related hasn't it?

Fudgeface123 · 06/05/2015 16:10

There's no such thing as child porn, porn is between consenting adults. It's child abuse

wallaby73 · 06/05/2015 16:22

This also makes no sense to me - why would SS be making visits regarding access to your children if it does not involve images relating to children? It absolutely has to be child related.

Heels99 · 06/05/2015 16:27

You surely are not going to allow them to continue to babysit?

LIZS · 06/05/2015 16:31

Do they have access to your pc when babysitting? It could be that the images are if ambiguous nature ie. From Far East of less self evident age or are of adults and children.

GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 16:32

Absolutely no way on god's green earth they're simply of 'adult nature' if SS have got involved.

CheersMedea · 06/05/2015 16:48

There's no such thing as child porn, porn is between consenting adults. It's child abuse

FFS. Buy a dictionary. And grow up.

Some adult "porn" involves coercion, rape and sexual slavery.

GraysAnalogy · 06/05/2015 16:50

Actually that poster makes a good point. We're supposed to be getting away from using the 'child porn' phrase.

ChaiseLounger · 06/05/2015 16:56

I don't quite understand why SS are visiting OP at all.

NerrSnerr · 06/05/2015 17:00

They must have some reason to think the children may be at risk. They tend to be very cautious (for obviously good reason).

Vivacia · 06/05/2015 17:03

Cheers that's a good point, but it's also a relevant point to refer to child sex abuse images rather than child porn.

Vivacia · 06/05/2015 17:04

I hope you're ok OP this must be a huge shock and taking ages for your partner to get home.

MrsDeVere · 06/05/2015 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.