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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

would you be worried about posting things here in case somebody recognised you?

45 replies

VixforVictory · 05/05/2015 23:15

I was about to start a new thread but I am worried that if somebody is 'watching', they will know straightaway that it's me.

OP posts:
skyeskyeskye · 06/05/2015 11:23

I was chatting to somebody in the local pub one night, a new face to the area and we swapped stories... she then recognized me as being "skye on MN" ..... but to her credit, she has never outed me in RL and she has been a good support at times too.

I do often wonder if there are others that I know in RL who post on here and just don't say anything.

I usually just refer to MN as "that forum that I post on" Grin

Quaintsunnyvillage · 06/05/2015 11:34

Yes, although not so much on here.

I used to be a very prolific user on another forum and unfortunately, too many people IRL recognised me, and literally about 10-15 people I know IRL have mentioned me going on there IRL- it’s sad as I know some of them specifically searched for me which I just find a bit sad. Also sad because I can now no longer start threads on there or post anything of any controversy.

I am now very careful to remain anonymous as much as I can and try and search for old threads if I have a problem rather than posting, unless absolutely necessary.

Lurgano · 06/05/2015 11:44

The OW and her seedy mates searched for me on here then stalked me and sent me abusive PMs via MN when DH eventually binned her and came home.

DH had mentioned to her that I used this forum to discuss the issues in our marriage, so she and her chavvy little band of bullies put the boot in via anonymous PMs.

Don't know why they picked on me - I was the innocent wife - why did she not attack DH for dumping her?

On reflection it was helpful as I now have no worries about DH straying back there as through the PMs she revealed to him he nasty little under-belly of her true personality.

I had name changed frequently and changed the ages/sexes/numbers of my children - but she still outed me - dog with a bone.

Lurgano · 06/05/2015 11:45

*the nasty little under-belly of her true personality.

Gralick · 06/05/2015 11:54

YY, I talk about MN a lot and think my sister knows who I am on here!

Your post about Cog was a bit weird, holeinmyheart. Could you ask for it to be deleted? (Report it.)

chipshop · 06/05/2015 12:20

I never used to be but the other day my friend posted a big thread on here! It was about problems with her SIL and MIL. I knew it was her and then saw the username which confirmed it. She got some very straight talking responses and justifiable criticism and I think must have asked for the thread to be pulled. Made me feel sad actually as I've tried to make her see reason over the situation many times.

SunsetsAndStarlings · 06/05/2015 12:21

I agree about the post about Cog....it is really wrong to post all that about her in one go like that. Back on topic, I have been here around five years and constantly name change, so worried I am about people knowing who I am. I don't even have Facebook or Twitter as I just hate the thought of people in RL knowing my business.

BitOfFun · 06/05/2015 12:42

I think you might have got that wrong there, Hole. If it's the poster I'm thinking of, her name began with C, but the rest was very different, so not Cog-something. I'd still ask to withdraw your post though.

DoorToTheRiver · 06/05/2015 14:28

If you are worried what you post may identify you then you need to weigh up how much you need advice on the subject as against the possibility someone you know will read it and how private the subject is.

I posted something a while ago which would have immediately identified me to anyone who read it because I went into a lot of detail (half sibling related). I'm not aware of anyone I know being on this site and I don't really post things that my close friends aren't aware of.

With hindsight I regretted posting what I did because there are family members who don't know about my half siblings. My thread didn't get much response, my OP was bloody long, complicated and boring, so I've not asked for it to be deleted as it's probably hundreds of pages back now so I don't have concerns it will resurface.

But as it would identify me to anyone reading it I changed my username a little while ago instead so I don't have concerns about someone doing a search if I post about something else and coming across it.

damnstatistics · 06/05/2015 15:21

What is the other place and how do you get to it? (if it is public knowledge)

geekymommy · 06/05/2015 15:55

Not in my case, since I'm American and this is a UK site.

BangaloreStories · 06/05/2015 16:42

damnstatistics don't go to 'the other place'. Everything's sugar coated with a fairy on top and frosted with glitterdust and They Know All About The Kardashians Grin

Gralick · 06/05/2015 16:54

I don't think she meant that other place, Bang Grin A couple of the MN talk boards are hidden from search engines.

damnstatistics · 06/05/2015 17:14

Intrigued but still in the dark!
It could come in handy some time...

flabbyducks · 06/05/2015 17:32

damnstatistics OTBT

Gralick · 06/05/2015 20:14

Half of Mumsnet's in my FB groups anyway, so all my secrets are out ...

holeinmyheart · 06/05/2015 22:48

Sorry, I apologise for any, what ... Annoyance, disturbance ,etc I caused by my reply about being identified.
I wasn't even sure about her name and I don't know why I even remembered all the facts about her.
I think it was because she was so articulate really and always seemed to say stuff in such a clear manner. I did feel admiration for her.
Anyway no offence intended and it has been deleted.
Mmmm, it has been a lesson to me !

ChablisTyrant · 06/05/2015 23:00

I have recognised 2 people on here who posted quite specific details of their lives. I'd never mention it to them in RL.

Gralick · 07/05/2015 00:11

Well done, hole :)

Chablis, I'd want you to say something, I think. Now I've typed that, I'm not so sure ... but the thought that people knew loads of really personal stuff about me and didn't say would freak me out more. I probably don't want you to go "Oh, haha, I know you're Gralick on MN and I've read all about your tedious personal angst", but I'd appreciate a kind word!

AnnagrammaHawkins · 07/05/2015 07:40

I haven't had anybody in rl admit to clocking me on Mn but to be fair, just going by the number of children I have and one twin Dd being pregnant is enough to whittle me down to those who know me.....luckily I'm a secretive person and my friends and family almost always know everything going on with me anyway. I use Mn for outside opinions more than anonyImity. I would have to name change if it was something horrific or embarrassing though just so as to not make anyone I know feel awkward.

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