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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am so lost and broken and sad - is this me being sensitive, do I need to get a grip?

8 replies

indigo34 · 05/05/2015 20:11

I used to live with my DP and he moved out recently for work-related reasons (to move to closer to his new job).

In the past 6 months, he has:

  • told me he wanted to buy a home together, looked round places together and then I've found messages to one of his family members detailing information about a viewing he had for a place to buy alone.
  • has consistently messaged another girl who used to be friends with us both but we lost contact when she broke up with her partner. There is nothing going on between them but I told him it made me uncomfortable that he spoke in detail to her about any argument we ever had etc.
  • 'forgets' things.. forgot my recent mature student final exam, forgot a scan I had to have, forgot to tell me that he woulndt be able to visit me on friday on thursday night, thus leaving my friday night without any plans
  • doesn't speak to me when he is out with friends
  • lied about his income and about a 2k bonus
  • gets angry when he drinks...at new year he grabbed my mobile phone and took it into the men's toilets, (I followed him in as was drunk) and he threw my phone under the cubicle and told me to fuck off... he apologised and blamed it on the drink.
  • I told him I wanted to consider moving to where he was based, to which he said 'why would you do that for me, I don't want that pressure' (though he claims to want to move back in when his contract terminates at his current job)
  • whenever I tell him I am unhappy, he gives the usual talk about how much he loves me and wants me etc, but it never feels like he actually is interested in why I am feeling so sad.

AIBU in feeling so shitty? And if so, why does my life feel terrifying a the thought of being apart from him?

please help :(

OP posts:
honeyroar · 05/05/2015 20:34

He's not exactly being a nice BF. I don't know why you feel scared of living alone, you already are really. Imagine having someone in the future that really wanted to be with you, really cared about you and worked together with you for a future. You could do so much better...x

pocketsaviour · 05/05/2015 20:57

Words are wind. Look at his ACTIONS and decide if he loves you. Don't listen to his words.

From what you have written, it seems your relationship is over... just one more thing he "forgot" to tell you. I'm sorry :(

AnyFucker · 05/05/2015 21:00

he sounds like a complete cunt

is there anything remotely dcent about him ? Confused

AnyFucker · 05/05/2015 21:00

*decent

PeppermintPasty · 05/05/2015 21:02

YANBU, he sounds like a twat, an angry twat at that.

The reason you feel terrified is partly the fear of the unknown. But what are you getting out of being in this relationship? Not a lot from what you're saying here.

Do you work? Have you got real life support?

Hassled · 05/05/2015 21:04

Agree - he sounds absolutely bloody awful. He's taking the piss, in every way - doesn't want to commit or have to give too much of a shit but still wants the convenience of the dutiful girlfriend, so gives you just enough hope to keep you dangling. Please trust me when I say life really is too short for this. Move on - there are nice blokes out there.

CarbeDiem · 05/05/2015 21:07

He sounds like a twat to be honest.
I agree that actions speak louder than words - very much louder.

MadeMan · 05/05/2015 21:30

"he sounds like a complete cunt"

This about sums it up.

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