Feel really left out at work because I'm part time

[ClayLover]

Everyone is full time except me and one other woman. The other woman has been there for years and is a very loud, dominant figure in the office so she never gets left out, plus she does 3 days and I do 2 days.

I just feel as though no one is ever bothered about me being there. I said hello to everyone when I got to work today and three people totally blanked me. They are all excited to see each other every day and to talk about their latest in jokes or other things they've been chatting about.

No one ever asks how I am or anything about myself, I have to really push to get myself included in conversations.

I am also overlooked all the time for things like nights out and lunches.

I have tried to recently meet up with three other staff members at the weekend with our DCs, and they all wanted to come and all three cancelled on the day, yet all regularly meet up and do things together.

I've been at work today and have got home and just feel like crap.

It was like this in my last work place I hated it. One of the women would plan nights out then say "I was gonna invite you but it's over 21s" (I was 19 at the time) or tell me about it last minute so I couldn't arrange a baby sitter or something. She was the only one who didn't come for my leaving drinks too. Where I work now is completely different and nights out are word of mouth whether you work 2 days or 5. Before pregnancy I used to put up a sign to let everyone know about a night out or dinner so it wasn't as awkward if people didn't show up

I used to get this when my DC were small and I had no access to babysitters at short notice (DH worked away all week).

Currently I work mornings and I think all the social organising must get done in the afternoons because I often come into work on Monday mornings to find out that a group have been out for drinks or 2 for 1 meal deal type things over the weekend

Not including people because they are part-time pisses me off massively. Its not like they cannot get hold of us is it? There's Facebook, Whatsapp etc FFS. I've started making comments now if I get left out just so they know I am pretty pissed off. Its getting better.

I've worked full time and part time in recent years and people definitely bond more spending 40 hours a week together. it isn't right but it is reality. They share the daily grind together and the oh my god it's Monday and yay it's Friday attitude. People forget when part timers are in and forget to include them. There can also be conscious or un conscious resentment towards part time workers as you get to work less. Sometimes things are last minute or arranged on a certain day. It isn't fair but I don't know how you can counter it.

Yes I think there is possibly some resentment from some colleagues there, although none is directed at the other part time colleague?

Surely they must realise that working less hours = getting paid less than they do?

Sadly I can connect to all of this - being left out of work do's, lunch dates, walking in and no one speaking it being left out of the tea round.

I think it is a combination of thoughtlessness and resentment that I 'am lucky enough' to get long weekends (their words not mine). My main reason for working part time is that my dd has SEN and I need to take her to therapy or medical appointments. I just get tutted at if I mention this.

Tbh I do my hours and look forward to the escape. I wouldn't naturally be friends with many of my colleagues so try not to let their behaviour bother me. It's quite sad that adults need to behave in such childish ways

I know how difficult it is when people have been working together a long time and have formed their little cliques, it can be very off-putting to say the least. Sounds a daft question but have you tried asking them questions about their lives? I expect you have but I don't think you should allow yourself to be ignored so if they don't listen perhaps you should speak louder! I would. How dare they ignore you?

If I were you, I'd try going in there with a different mindset. Why don't you try taking some cakes in next time you're in the office and offer to make everyone a cup of tea? Worth a try! If that doesn't work them maybe you should think about looking for another job. Miserable bastards!

I've not been there a huge amount of time but some of the full timers that have ignored me have been there less time than me.

I need to speak louder definitely. How can I do that without appearing stroppy?

Make good eye contact and speak loudly enough that you can be heard. Just ask them a few questions and see how it goes. No doubt you've tried making conversation with them already but there's no harm in trying again. I doubt they will think you are stroppy. With any luck they will realise that you're just trying to be being friendly and will respond by asking you questions. Let's hope so anyway.

It's difficult being the new girl. It can take a lot of time and effort to fit in but if you keep trying there is every chance you will get there in the end.

How long have you been in the job?