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Original poster

Internet Dating - which are the best sites these days?

26 replies

EagleRay · 04/05/2015 22:03

Asking for a friend who is just starting out!

I met DP on a dating site 5/6 years ago (My Single Friend) and in the years before that also used Match and Guardian Soulmates. MSF was pretty good, if a little clunky in terms of website. Match was a fairly good all-rounder and GS I always felt should have worked but in reality the men on there were either a bit precious or sneery!

I imagine the market (and technology) must have changed a lot in recent years - where's best to look now? Btw friend is 40ish single parent and just looking to get dating again and hoping to meet some men with similar interests.

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
madgirlslovesong · 04/05/2015 22:07

Watching with interest, as I'm embarking on online dating too

Original poster
EagleRay · 04/05/2015 22:10

Well hopefully someone will enlighten us soon!

Oh and PoF seemed to be the place to go for an axe murderer or married man Hmm

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 04/05/2015 22:11

Avoid plenty of fish like the plague.
Match is ok, i deleted my profile as soon as my 6 month subscription was up though, never found anyone i liked.
I do like OKCupid.

SelfLoathing · 04/05/2015 22:17

Honestly no idea as I gave up.

It remains true that ones you pay for are better due to "weeding".

I've tried them all (over varying periods of time and a lot of the following may not be up to date):

Eharmony - I never liked this (it limits your search ability - you can only see profiles the system matches you with) but I have friends who really liked it because of the whole "questionnaire" stuff it tends to have men who are more serious about having a relationship rather than married men shag -seeking.

Times/Guardian - not bad but a lot of same users on both. Tends to have Christmas jumper type men who stay on there for years. Could be lucky but "good guys" quickly meet someone and are off.

Mybestfriend - good for all kinds of reasons - this was my favorite of all of them and tended to have better class of person - by which I mean non-scarey weirdos with bathroom selfies.

Match - waste of time as SO MANY dead profiles.

PoF - better than you'd think for a free site but you DO need to have a very cynical approach and a strong radar for bullshit.

OK Cupid - waste of time.

Original poster
EagleRay · 04/05/2015 22:17

Gah - I want to look! But I can't as will get dating website ads appearing forever on my laptop, which wouldn't look good...

OP posts:
SelfLoathing · 04/05/2015 22:19

Eagleray

www.torproject.org/

Original poster
EagleRay · 04/05/2015 22:22

SelfLoathing - thank you for the link - am embarrassed I didn't look into this already as the technical stuff around it is very closely linked to my job Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
EagleRay · 04/05/2015 23:42

And thanks for the list of sites! Had totally forgotten about Eharmony, and interesting point about the long-termers on Guardian/Times. Can recall now how drained I felt seeing the same profiles on every site.

I live in a relatively small city and can also remember the horror and embarrasment at disovering friends had dated the same 'candidates' as me!

And also the horror at looking through profiles and recognising lots of not-at-all-single men I knew from RL Hmm

OP posts:
Gl81 · 05/05/2015 00:01

I'm online dating at the moment, paid for a six month subscription to match in Jan and its been the biggest waste of time. Had one date from it,I have men in France contacting me and people who are ridiculously older than me,I'm 33,I've had 50/60 year olds email me,despite my preference being up to 40!

I joined OK Cupid thinking it would be just like plenty of fish,but have found it really good. I've had two dates off there with two different guys who I've arranged to go on another date with.

I'm my opinion,sign up to as many as you want,I think it seems to be luck where you end up finding good men!

badtime · 05/05/2015 00:12

okcupid is really popular with my friends. I know at least 2 people who have married someone they met there (and I am getting married to someone I kind of did).

So I disagree somewhat with the person who said it is a 'waste of time' (although I am told it very much depends where you are in the country).

SelfLoathing · 05/05/2015 00:20

It was me who said OK Cupid was a waste of time -

I said that because my experience was a lot of MM, a lot of fakers (my advice is ALWAYS do a reverse image search on an OK Cupid profile photo that looks halfway decent - I'd had everything from senior USA army generals (yes really!) to z-list actors) and a lot of guys just up for sex.

niceupthedance · 05/05/2015 06:06

I met someone nasty on OKC. Actually tinder was good for dates, if you have a good twat radar you should be fine.

confusedoflondon · 05/05/2015 07:37

Tinder is good. Cuts out all the waffle, winking and all that palava. If you like each other and choose each other on looks you get to message directly its that simple (and honest). Don't be put off by people saying tinder is just for hook ups. I met my Dp off there and he's amazing and my absolute soul mate (and why shouldn't he be?) . Its free and quick and it worked for me ??

despomum41 · 05/05/2015 09:58

im in the same boat i was POF 2 years ago met my ex and now im back on it i agree with Selfloathing you do need a radar for bullshit for example i got a message from a guy profile was good, picture ok but when we went past the hello bit not even past the name intro the dirty pics started coming and good thing about it you can instantly block them

Ouchbloodyouch · 05/05/2015 11:07

Okcupid worked for me. Would use it again if I become single again!

Xenadog · 05/05/2015 16:12

It depends if you are looking for something fairly serious or not. I would suggest eHarmony as that's where I met DP. I had met a few men on there before DP and they all seemed focused on having something serious rather than just a quick shag.

Match seemed to be a bit like a meat market and PoF was really tacky. Having said that I know happy couples from all three sites so they do work.i guess you pay your money (or not) and take your choice!

Mumfun · 05/05/2015 16:30

OK Cupid has been good if you just avoid the profiles with just one photo which are often fake. The questions thing it does is good and helped me dodge a few bullets. Hated Match as pretentious and no good. POF wasnt that great.

fairbalance · 05/05/2015 19:59

Match- loads of dead profiles.

POF- okay met some nice men but watch out for bull shitters.

Soulmates- genuine but hard work and a bit pretentious.

OKCupid- met my partner of 9 months from there we are planning on moving into together.

OKCupid is my favourite (again watch for bull shitters but not as many as POF) in my experience some nice genuine men. However look further than your local area and be open minded on location. POF has lots of people in your local area OKCupid has far fewer and I live in outer London. I am moving from Herts to Wales to be with my partner!

measles64 · 05/05/2015 20:02

My friends met on Tinder, getting married next year. A friend on Plenty of Fish has met some real losers. Has anyone tried Muddy Matches? It looks fairly good if you are a country lover.

Themrmen · 05/05/2015 20:50

Pof was good for me as meet my fiancé 4 years ago. However I did get a few dick pics and weirdos. So have to preserve and block. My friend is also marrying a man she met on pof

Goodbetterbest · 05/05/2015 21:18

I quite liked OKCupid, had some good chats.

Guardian SM was very very slow and not very chatty.

PinkTardis · 05/05/2015 22:52

I met dp on tinder, agree with earlier post about twat radar tho, you can usually tell off the basic info if it's hookups or more they are after, it cuts the awkward small talk.

That being said dp won't tell people in real life how we met Grin

HelenF350 · 05/05/2015 23:10

I met my partner on POF. Met a bunch of dodgers too but soon learned to spot them a mile off. Once I'd got the hang of it I met some really nice guys.

confusedoflondon · 06/05/2015 13:57

Neither will mine pinktardis Grin

pocketsaviour · 06/05/2015 15:42

I found OKC quite good, and I really like the in-depth personality matching questions thingy. However, if I did want to date again (I'm happily single at the moment) I'd probably choose a paid site as it does weed out those who are just casually browsing.

I did find a lot of people on OKC seemed to just want to chat, which I found a bit pointless. Hello, it's a dating site - so let's date! If we've exchanged more than 4 messages each and he hasn't suggested meeting, I'll either suggest it myself or just stop responding. I want a boyfriend, not a penpal!