I have been with DH 15 years. We have three kids - 6, 4 and just turned 1. I am a SAHM at the moment.
The first 9 years were great, but the last 6 of parenthood have really taken their toll. We were just getting things back on track after DC2 when I unexpectedly got pregnant with DS. He's a delight, but none of my kids are/were easy babies and are/were all poor sleepers.
There isn't some big 'problem' as such, but I often feel undervalued and dismissed. DH has a tendency (because this is how his family do things) to mutter under his breath, to refuse to admit anything is bothering him, etc. I have a tendency not to appreciate what he does and to push him when he closes down and start a fight (which is fucking pointless because he will never, ever open up).
Basically, we are not getting along as we used to. And I've no idea how to change it. I just want us both to be a bit nicer and kinder to each other. We seem to be saving the worst of our personalities for each other.
Does anyone have any practical hints about how they've tried to fix this type of cycle, and whether it made a difference (not date nights. The baby is still unbabysittable by paid help. We do do dinner without the kids etc from time to time, which is nice, but isn't an answer in itself).
ps. There is no way he would agree to counselling. I'd have to be threatening to leave. And it's nowhere near that bad.