STBXH is kicking off about my FWB and I'm quite scared.

[weedinthepool]

I've been seeing this guy for a few week, nothing serious just a friend with benefits type situation.

Obviously I kept it quiet from stbxh as he's abusive.

So my 'friend' stayed over last night and ex turned up out of the blue with the dc's to check on me because I've been quite down lately and drinking alot. I told him he couldn't come in and I'm not a good liar and stbxh asked if I had a bloke there so I had to admit it. So he royally kicked off saying I was a fucking bitch and I'm not prioritising the dc's and I'm this terrible person. I would never introduce my friend to the dc's, they are with stbxh until 6, so I thought it was ok to have him here.

I've had loads of abusive texts and calls off ex and he just told me to fuck off with such venom on the phone that I'm really worried about drop off. He has been violent before.

"baa-ing"

is that the same as "moo-ing" and generally being a bit of a hysterical sheep/cow ?

oh dear AF is it that time again? personal insults/bunfight starting because im slightly questioned the judgement/choices of info the op offered up, its a discussion thread, peoples opinions differ its just how it is, if you're drinking too much to the point your/kids/ex have to come round and check then thats quite serious disfunction, as well as your exs behaviour that they are witnessing.

what time is that then ?

my time of the month ?

no! the influx of personal insults you hurl at posters who say something you disagree with.

seems to a regular installment of posting on here

MRA alert!

Only when people deliberately post something inflammatory and goady Elixir.

if you say so

MRA? seriously

i wasn't being goady Helena i wasnt excusing her exs behaviour.

you were doing something aligned to goadiness, FE...you were blaming op for her ex's behaviour

it's a subtle difference when viewed through certain lenses

but when you look at it differently, one realises they are both equally damaging

FE, the gist of your post was that OP let her kids go somewhere with her ex in order that she could have sex. That was quite nasty.

Elixir you implicitly said that she was handing the kids over so she could see her "fella" And your question "why would you "hand your kids over to that" also shows you are very ignorant about the way access and custody works and the laws surrounding it. There are many mothers who are forced to let their abusive partners see the children. If you feel so strongly about it you could start a campaign instead of coming on here attacking someone who...

a. is having to abide by the law.
b. is a social worker so very very likely knows a damn sight more about it than you do.

at no point even remotely did i blame her/excuse hers ex's behaviour ... it just appears from the op she is making some poor choices and considering she gas admitted she has a problem with drink,its quite possible its clouding her judgement somewhat i wasn't trying to be nasty i was just being honest in my opinion on the situation and considering how prickly/defensive the op got towards i may have hit a few nerves,its not a judgement on her as a person it just glared ate from her op.

lovely derail their FE.
OP I hope the video testimony goes ok, make other childcare arrangements if you can. Do not let him get to you. As an adult woman you are entitled to have consensual sex with whoever you damn well please. Its got fuck all to do with him.

sigh i didn't derail anything ....made a point other posters kicked off, whatever im not interested in a bunfight, hope things sort themselves out OP,x