Help me move on!

[Bambino1234]

Well as many of you have seen my numerous posts I have struggled to let go of the fact my partner left me for someone else.
It's been four months and I have analysed every situation, cried buckets and listened to all that he has to say.

Last weekend he apologised, he told me he was sorry but he doesn't want to try again because he knows I wouldn't trust him. He said it's his bed to lay in now and I should stop blaming myself as I have done nothing wrong.

I feel like he has just passed on his guilt to me saying he wanted to come but knew I wouldn't have him so didn't bother !!

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have my home job and children now I want to be free again and leave him behind.

But how do I do this ?!

He was right. You sound like you've done well staying strong and are moving forward. (I haven't seen your other threads so don't know the story) You wouldn't want him back.v keep focused on that. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Your future looks rosy, keep looking forward, don't look back. He's not your problem anymore. He didn't think about you when he went. Don't think about him now..

Thank you I have tried so hard to see the positives In this.
I have a good life now, the children are happier and I have a nice home , job we have a better life that is clear for all to see

What I found hard is his lack of care, lack of missing his family and his damn right insensitivity towards the issue.
Seems slowly I am moving forward and he obviously had felt a bit of upset last week to start telling me he had thought about coming home, he had thought about asking me to forgive him but he knows it wouldn't work and deep down I know it to I just want to believe it and be able to let go.

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

He is really playing with your head and will continue to do so as long as you let him.

Just because he had a bad week, he wants to let you know he had second thoughts about coming home and guilt tripped you with the "but, you'd never trust me again" as if you held all the power. That's disgusting. He had no intention of coming back, he just wanted to make you feel bad and wants to still get a reaction from you. He wanted to feel you still cared about him, he really is pathetic.

Four months is a very short time. You are still not over this. The reason you feel so awful, is because you weren't expecting this. He will do this again and again, when its not rocking for him. He is very selfish and self absorbed.

You need to be calm, cool and detached. Don't discuss his feeling with him. Fuck him, you will need to toughen up in your dealings with him. In order to protect yourself.

Its all pity me, when it not going well for him. Believe me, when he's back in form again, you won't hear a thing from him.

Take care of yourself.

Just think, if he had really wanted to come home he would have moved heaven and earth, not wishy was hilly suggest you'd not let hm. He might have been feeling nostalgic, but even then he didn't make any effort for you. You're still better off moving forward. I'd personally think of it as a boost to your confidence that he had some regrets, but too little too late.

I did say this to him that I wouldn't have him back anyway.
If it me I would have fought for my family not blamed someone else's lack of trust - he did this not me - now I just want to move on.
I wish I could find the strength to shut the door on him and just let all the things he says go in one ear and out the other.

You will, it just takes more time. Each time will get a tiny bit easier and you'll get prouder of yourself and see just how strong you are.

forget all this 'you wouldn't trust me anyway' nonsense. He's just saying that as a way to justify why he won't come back, to make you think it's a pointless exercise because after what he's done it could never work. But he has no intention of even trying and he's told you that many times so it's an irrelevant argument anyway . Even if you promised to trust him implicitly and never question him or be insecure about the affair again, he still wouldn't come back. Just stop engaging with him over it. Just stop! Whether they are instigated by you, or by him, there is no need and no point in keeping on having these discussions, so be strong and just stop them.