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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Offloading a friend

2 replies

harmlessmacaroon · 06/11/2006 22:15

I have decided to "offload", for want of a better word, a friend I've had since secondary school.

We're both 40 now and although we were reasonably close in the latter years of secondary school up until the age of about 19, we drifted apart and never really saw much of one another after that. We have always sent birthday and christmas cards with letters and the very occasional e mail but no real meaningful contact for the last 20 years or so.

She went away and became an air hostess and married an officer in the RAF. She has since had 2 children and is now a stay at home mum. She has made several moves due to her husband's job and has, to say the least, got very above her station along the way. She has become the most terrible snob and crushing bore and seems to want to wipe away her former life in our home time which obviously doesn't sit well with the life she has now. I have found that she has become increasingly more patronising and unbearable. In recent years she has sent me one of those dreadfully impersonal "round robin" type Christmas newsletters telling of her full life and what she evidently considers her enviable lifestyle.

About a year ago now we both attended a Friends Reunited disco for our school year group and so many people there commented to me that they couldn't believe what she'd become and how snobby and up on herself they found her to be. As a result it really woke me up to the fact that I have absolutely nothing in common with her anymore and don't really want her in my life. So, I decided to cease all contact with her. She sent a further Christmas and birthday card which I did not reciprocate before seeming to get the message.

I now live in fear of bumping into her if she is ever in town visting her mother who still lives here.

I am quite happy with my decision but just wondered if anyone else had ever decided to cut the deadwood out of their lives so to speak.

OP posts:
Wordsmith · 06/11/2006 22:24

Sounds like you're not exactly 'friends' with her now, so what's the problem? Christmas cards and birthday cards are hardly fervent contact are they? Just ignore them.

lou33 · 06/11/2006 22:38

i do it all the time

i find a good time to do it is when you get a mobile phone upgrade, then you can prune your contacts and say you lost their contact details if they bump into you, lol

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