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Original poster

Found flirty emails

18 replies

zebrawings · 01/05/2015 22:50

I have just looked at DPs ipad and found lots of deleted but not properly emails. I don't know the address and there wasn't a name but the talk at the beginning makes it obvious it's someone he works with, there are loads back and forth, one was him asking her for photos to 'keep him busy', she said no but still carried on talking. These were all last night when I had gone to bed. Can't even look at him now I don't know what to do

OP posts:
OpheliaRose · 01/05/2015 23:06

Just wanted to offer you some support i found some flirty messages from my H to a co worker recently ... turns out he was having an affair with a girl at work. She however did send him pictures when requested, blow jobs and sex at work and so much more

I hope you are ok Flowers

Berrie1 · 02/05/2015 03:32

Sorry to hear you found these emails Zebra. Did you find anything else? Could you maybe get hold of his phone or get on to his Facebook to see if you could find out a bit more and who this person is?

You can either wait until you are armed with more info and then confront him by saying something vague along the lines of "I know what you've done.... care to explain yourself?" and see if he tells you the truth, or you could confront him just now and hope that he is honest for you. It's easier for them to lie when you have little to go on.

Berrie1 · 02/05/2015 03:33

*honest with you

Original poster
zebrawings · 02/05/2015 10:32

Thanks Opehlia, sorry you've been through this too

I didn't find anything else to know who she is no, he talks about a few women at work but I don't know which one of them it is

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DragonsCanHop · 02/05/2015 11:04

Forward the emails to yourself.

What do you want to do?

OpheliaRose · 02/05/2015 11:09

I found some messages from my H which although where slightly flirty and overly friendly pretty much could pass for friendly chit chat however they where a bit disjointed like parts where missing. I confronted H and he admitted to a full on affair and told me he had feelings for her so left me for her.

If you're concerned I would ask him about it and say that you are not happy about flirty emails. If he's got any decency (unlike my H) he will explain and stop emailing her

Original poster
zebrawings · 02/05/2015 12:10

He's out now so sent them to myself He'd been out then came home a bit tipsy but quite early, said he wanted to stay up and watch tv. The idea that he didn't want to come to bed with me but wanted to sit sending secret emails to someone asking for wanking material, I don't even want to see him right now

OP posts:
Joysmum · 02/05/2015 20:16

How are you now?

Original poster
zebrawings · 03/05/2015 13:24

Same, his parents have been here so no chance to tell him i've seen them yet.

He's being annoyingly nice though

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Joysmum · 03/05/2015 15:09

They tend to be if they have the emotional inteligence to realise that they've pushed too far.

Claralikessage · 03/05/2015 20:00

He is probably just boosting his ego by flirting with some silly woman (who will know he is married and try to convince herself that she is irresistible when deep down she knows she is just desperate and anyone at all noticing her boosts her ego). As soon as you confront him (ASAP) he will propably deny and minimise it.
Good luck.

EleanorRigby89 · 05/05/2015 21:07

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this Zebra. Have you confronted him yet?

Original poster
zebrawings · 06/05/2015 19:58

Thank you for thinking of me, i've asked him about it now he said it's a friend from work and that they were just chatting. I said it was more than just chatting and theres no way i'm happy for him to talk to other women like that in the middle of the night and what if she had sent him a picture. He apoligised and said the picture thing had been a bit far but that he was joking and didn't really want her to send it.

Now he has said he won't do that again and is acting like nothing happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
zebrawings · 06/05/2015 19:59

Thank you for thinking of me, i've asked him about it now he said it's a friend from work and that they were just chatting. I said it was more than just chatting and theres no way i'm happy for him to talk to other women like that in the middle of the night and what if she had sent him a picture. He apoligised and said the picture thing had been a bit far but that he was joking and didn't really want her to send it.

Now he has said he won't do that again and is acting like nothing happened.

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MrsChanningTatum · 07/05/2015 14:02

Oh dear :-/
He minimising and dismissing what he has done in the hope that you will too. It's called damage limitation.

Can you trust him to have stopped messaging this woman?

You need to talk to him and make him see how he has lied and deceived you. Also he has betrayed your trust and this is very damaging. Ask questions like why did he start doing this, and how.

And what measures is he going to put in to stop communicating to the woman. I'd be watching him send a message to her clearly stating he is married and that it he's done with her and is going to concentrate on making it up to you now. Or watch him phone her.

Tell him to get another job so they are not working together.

spancake · 07/05/2015 18:23

I would go to her and give her a piece of my mind. Request politely that she backs off, and advise that if she needs to be asked a second time then you won't ask so politely.

Vivacia · 07/05/2015 18:46

I would go to her and give her a piece of my mind.

Her??

Original poster
zebrawings · 08/05/2015 19:35

I think he does kind of realise MrsChanningTatum, he's still on his best behavour but I don't know how long it will last. He wouldn't leave his job it would cause so many problems

I hate it but it was him who was pushing it spancake, she was being a bit flirty and it was late but it was him who asked for photos and she refused.

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