Ill Sibling

[LifeConundrums]

I have all but given up contacting my elder sibling after repeated rudeness over the years. Now it's Christmas cards and occasionally popping in at Christmas - every few years - type of thing.

I know they would think I was being ridiculous but essentially I have felt bullied by this person in the past so have retreated.

Now serious long term illness has struck, I feel I should try again. But I'm perhaps too cowardly. Is it worth trying again? Does anyone have any similar experiences to share?

You can only go so far with someone whose position is entrenched and will not ever change.
My eldest sister has a lot of issues to and is a bully. She has been mean to me most of my life, and is looking for blame continually, not solutions.

I have had counselling and been on a counselling course so I do think I have a generally more empathic response and I would certainly be willing to take some of the blame for the situation.
After all, most problems between two people are two sided. However my sister will not have any of that.

I feel sad and uncomfortable with the situation.mAll my other siblings are NC with her. They don't give her a backward glance, but I don't like it.

So as to whether you want to try with your sister or not? Well, it depends on you and the sort of soft hearted person you are. Be prepared for a rejection though.
The last time I offered to have a counsellor between us( paid for by me) my sister said No. It hurts. So that was my last try.

it sounds like you think the same thing will happen again if you try again. Also that you really are not sure you want that rejection.

I think if you prepare yourself for rudeness then you can try once more. If you get the same reaction again then well, you knew the score and can back away again. It seems a long shot that she'll have changed, but you might feel better for having tried. If you don't and her illness gets worse you might regret it for a long time. But you do need to be willing to back away again. Good luck.