What do you think !

[shaniatwain]

I met a nice guy from old a few months ago. Emailed lots, spoke on the phone and met. First date went nicely, second date had a lovely meal, third date just as nice... He asked he to stay over on the fourth date which I did. We slept together and all very nice. Then we met again and I stayed with him for a few nights, again all very nice went out for meals, viewed the city etc. so I left his on the Tuesday am and headed off for work!.. I did say I would text him but work was so manic that day i didn't.. What I did expect though was for him to contact me later that day or even the next day..... I heard nothing !! I was briefly upset by this but though hey ho I'm not going to contact him ( been previously burned) !!!! Not by him...'anyway fast forward a month and he texted me totally out of the blue ... Said sorry he has not been in touch ! Been busy with the kids and work !!!!
Reactions please ??

I really can't get my head around the advice usually given on here that the man should be the one to text, to do the running, etc when so much of mn is about equality and feminism etc and yet so many people seem to think all the effort should still come from the man? What's that about?

How is it that so many seem to get to the point of having the confidence to sleep with someone yet they can't send a text message?

Or, indeed, to actually pick up the phone and talk, wannaBe!

That said, I do understand that the OP says she has been burned before and was nervous and trying to tread carefully. And, to put myself in this bloke's position for a bit, if I was interested in more than just sex and hadn't heard from the OP when she said she would text me I probably wouldn't have left it more than a few days before getting in touch.

Or, indeed, to actually pick up the phone and talk, wannaBe!

That said, I do understand that the OP says she has been burned before and was nervous and trying to tread carefully. And, to put myself in this bloke's position for a bit, if I was interested in more than just sex and hadn't heard from the OP when she said she would text me I probably wouldn't have left it more than a few days before getting in touch.

This is precisely it, pompodd. If he'd been interested, he'd have picked up the phone and said something. Even if he'd just asked if she was ok, as she'd been quiet after the weekend.
OP, I'd leave it, unless you just want a few casual dates/shags again. I don't think it's going to progress beyond that in this case.

Typical to turn this man into the one who is wrong.

Is that aimed at me? I'm not making value judgements over anyone's actions (both as bad as each other, fwiw). Just agreeing with pompodd's assessment.

I don't think anyone is saying the man is "wrong". We're just pointing out that if he really was interested in something more than an occasional shag he probably would have got in touch sooner.

But I think the OP has to take responsibility for not texting when she said that she would. The guy was entitled to assume that she wasn't that interested if she didn't text.

I'm a man, btw. Hope that helps, AuntyMag10...

but if the op had been interested she would have waited more than a few days before texting as well so it goes both ways. And what happens is that because of crap communication both assume that the other has lost interest, and both decide to move forward.

And while I understand that perhaps the op has been burned before, the man isn't responsible for her previous experiences, nor does he have to compensate for them.

I agree with the others you never text so he presumed you wasn't interested and waited it out. It's deffinately game playing to not contact somebody when you say you will then to get upset they haven't chased you down!

Simply, neither of you were that bothered about the other.
So let it drop.

You said you would call and you didn't but it doesn't sound like he was that bothered at all.
Better to have found out sooner rather than later.

Being cynical his recent text sounds like he is having a dry patch so contacting old flings.
Most men do it and I certainly used to do it before dw.