Why won't she just go away !

[tumbleweed72]

I am really struggling with my relationship at the moment and I am not communicating as I should be with dp as I am always worried about 'whats round the corner'

Since being together we have had problems with his ex, when I met him she had just moved out. He let her stay after they split up as she said she had no where else to go. But every time he had a date she would show up.
Luckily she had moved out when he met me , but he told her about me and she turned up crying and saying she was jealous etc ( she was getting married 2 weeks after doing this)

As a few months went on she would call him during the night frequently and say she had crashed her car/ was upset/ couldn't sleep etc and he would act on it. She seemed to play up more than ever. Thankfully he saw it more and more as she put requests and demands on him. And eventually he asked her for the sake of his life and wanting to move on and not feel responsible for her all the time ( and she has a husband now ) please can she leave him alone.

She got angry, went quiet for a couple of weeks and then started again. We went through the process of changing mobile numbers, land lines, and now we have even moved house and got married recently. Neither of us are now on facebook . So now she emails the last one a week after we were married saying congratulations he didnt open it to know what else it said- no idea how she even knows we got married! . He sends them straight to delete without reading them, but seriously I just want to relax. She has taken to turning up to a sports club he used to go to - but has had to stop going because reading about it we just need to keep away and ignore any requests.

I know he is doing all he can to protect us but I am struggling with the on edge feel, and it seems worse now we are married - it seems like there is so much more to loose by someone playing games with us and I am scared . I have read about borderline personality disorder ( she was diagnosed whilst with him) and this is all normal behavior. Dp says for us just to be strong and nothing will come between us , but I don't no how many more years this will go on for

Go to the police. Just because this is a woman stalking a man/couple doesn't mean they won't take it seriously. You should be able to get a non-molestation order to keep her away, and if she continues harassing you she will be arrested.

It's miserable to be stalked, but it can be dealt with by the police and the courts.

This is stalking. No wonder you feel on edge. Glad your DH asked hear to cease and changed phone numbers etc instead of pandering to her, but if he's still having to give up his own hobbies or freedom of movement, then clearly she could do with a police warning to back the fuck off.

Dont delete any of the emails, set up a folder called 'stalker' and pop everything in there. Keep a diary of all her other 'random' contact. Personally I would be inclined to set up your facebook pages and screen grab all her communications there. You want to be able to prove a pattern of behavour.

Once a person has been told to stop contacting you, for him/her to make any further contact attempts is harassment and the police will act.

It doesn't matter if the messages/phone calls/approaches/gifts are 'friendly' rather than threatening: the contact is unwanted and therefore it's a criminal offence.

Give the police a ring on the non-emergency number in the morning. Good luck.

Yy to being a stalker and go ti the police for their support if it is just logging the stalking. Start keeping all communication for evidence as suggested above.

Also, you did not mention children, so I am assuming there are none, which is a good thing. She would then have absolutely NO reason at all to contact your DH as there is nothing to tie them together. Good luck, i hope you get the nightmare of an ex of your back soon.

Don't let this become 'a thing' between you and DH. It sounds like he's doing everything he can to stop this behaviour. I also second the police.

My husband's XW did this sort of thing for a while - but eventually stopped. And they had (adult) children so he couldn't ignore her entirely. It was an awful year or so and I really feel for you.
It sounds like this woman is showing no sign of settling down and SGB has given you good advice re the police.