Anyone found the Dr J Gottman approach helped?

[Clarella]

I just wondered if it helped anyone to follow his methods?

When read this: relationshipresourcecenter.com/articles-concerning-relationships/relationship-articles/the-four-horsemen-of-the-apocalypse/

I can CLEARLY see where we go wrong, and always have. Not had dhs opinion on it yet (kinda both 'stonewalling' since last spat) but he's keen on counselling.

We've established its mostly communication issues. I've had awful debilitating health issues which haven't helped and he works long hours. Plus a very night clingy 2 year old. Plus DH is housework phobic if he can get away with it. Still a bit stuck in his young professional ways.

I can see elements of narcissism- but researching that, I also am mindful of self esteem. I actually think his self esteem is non existent. Boys / men tend to react defensively. I know certain definite signs of narcissism he doesn't have, and I could call others actual panic and depression.