Seems trivial but I don't know what to do!

[Embarrassedbymystupidity]

This is going to sound utterly ridiculous and I'm embarrassed even to write it down!
I separated from my violent/abusive ex partner and have been seeing a man for about 8/9 months now.
He is wonderful. Empathic, kind, caring, considerate, patient, understanding (I could go on!). He's in a similar situation as he's just got divorced and we've helped each other through some of the bad times but have had a lot of our own good times too.
All great.
But, I wasn't expecting the relationship to last and for some reason he assumed that I own the house I live in with my ex partner.
I don't. I rent it. It wasn't really an issue as I thought I was irrelevant so didn't correct him.
Now we're quite serious about each other and have been talking about the future etc. So he keeps talking to me about what I might need to do to sort it out. The thing is, I feel like I can't bring it up as its gone too far now. But the other thing is, I've never had a mortgage and surely that will show if we make an application together? Plus, I'm not going to get anything out of the sale of my house, because it isn't mine!!
I know I should come clean but I am mortified it's gone this far! Help!

I think you just need to come right out with it. I'm not sure what else to say Really.

Just use your words, honey.
"I just want to clear something up - I realised from what you said the other day that you think I own my house - I don't, it's rented!"

Just a thought, and I apologise if it offends you, but do you think he's so keen to move on BECAUSE he thinks you own your own house?

If you tell him that you're sorry that he's misunderstood, that you don't own your house and never said you did, what do you think he will do/say?

I like pockets response. Just be honest. He may run..hopefully not. But you don't have a lot of choice. My new squeeze knows I rent but when I was OLD I was surprised how many people asked if I did own my house!!

Posted too soon. The point being was I wondered whether i was considered more 'worthy' if I had a mortgage!

I think I would make it clear that house isn't mine and wait.
His reaction will show his true motivations and ideas.

Love, calm your jets a bit eh? You don't know this man enough to start planning moves etc. not with your history. It takes on average 2 years for an abuser to show themselves and if you have not put yourself through therapy and the freedom programme and learned what you're looking for, what to avoid, and how to protect yourself from those that are with you for the wrong reasons. Not saying he is, but you can't know him well enough yet to be absolutely sure he's safe.

Just tell him next time that you're renting and more than happy to stay that way for now. Don't be afraid to state the truth.

Meant to add 'you'll still be vulnerable to falling into another abusive relationship

Thanks for your replies.
I don't think he would care that I'm renting to be honest, it's more that I've sort of lied by not coming clean while he's been trying to help me sort things out. It's because of this that I feel so stupid! He's definitely not interested in my money (because I don't have any!) and we've been talking about things happening in the future rather than imminently as we both wanted to know where we stood IYSWIM
I do agree with you hissy and I've been in counselling for nearly two years now which helped me end and deal with the fallout of my previous relationship.

it's more that I've sort of lied by not coming clean while he's been trying to help me sort things

Hey! You absolutely have not lied. Discussing financial arrangements is very personally and you are perfectly entitled not to want to do that with someone you are just dating.

Imagine if he'd said to you "so I'm assuming that you use tampax and blah blah blah", and you used sanitary towels, if you didn't rush to correct him you wouldn't have lied. It's the same thing. it's personal and frankly none of his business. Any more than what debts you have, what's in your bank account etc.

It's none of his business until you get to a point where you are actually planning a future together properly - not just dating for 8/9 months and talking about it.

He's definitely not interested in my money

I wouldn't be so sure about this - if (a) you have a history of abusive relationships your radar may be wobbly (and anyway the most skilled abusers hide their agenda perfectly until it's too late) and (b) he thinks you own your house. Tread carefully.

It's understandable at first that he can assume you own it (or lest own the mortgage!) it is sweet that he is thinking about how you can do up the house, most likely just in a helpful way.
The fact that you are nervous to bring it up is a result of your past and if he's any kind of caring person that you think he will understand your reluctance in bringing it up.

I'm sure he will be fine,if however he does rant rave/dump you then you had a lucky escape!

You're sounding pressurized by this man and you clearly can't talk to him frankly. Have you discussed this new relationship in your counselling given that your last relationship was abusive?

He sounds a nice person from your description. Be as honest and as upfront as you have been on here. Saying something like "this is a bit embarrassing, when we talk about my home you've assumed I own it and I know it sounds slightly silly but for some reason I've not actually pointed out it's rented".

If he is a bit hurt that you haven't said anything before do explain that sometimes it can be difficult to correct someone when they have made an assumption and then the longer it goes on the harder it gets. (Quite common IMO). Particularly true I suspect having come out of a very difficult relationship which may have knocked your confidence.

I suspect many of us have been in a similar experience to a greater or lesser degree. My PILs never knew I had been married before (only for a year), as when I first met them my DH did not tell them, it's not something you say when you first take a girlfriend home. The longer we left it the bigger an issue it became. So 30 years later they still don't know, one day I will drop it in a conversation!