Sister trying to be a snob

[sisterssister]

We come from a very working class background with old fashioned beliefs (such as "straight into work from school" and "a womans job is in the home and the man earns the money").
None of our family members have much money and we come from a big family... we have 6 aunts and uncles and only 1 of them has a professional career (nurse) and only one of them owns their own house (and thats only because the man she married already had it).

Anyway our mum was never the type to encourage us with anything, she expected us to get a job straight after school and she has never really worked her self so you can see we're really not from a "well to do" family!

My sister was pregnant by the time she was 18, her boyfriend left her a couple of years ago and she now lives in a council house in a rough area with 2 kids - not exactly out of the ordinary for our family so nobody really cared.

Anyway since her boyfriend left she has become such a snob, her children can only wear the best clothes from the best shops (no sports clothes as they're "common"), they can only eat the right food...no "junk food", she is obsessed with their homework and reading books and uniforms have to be spotless before they're allowed out of the front door. She has also started looking down on those around her refering to the kids in her area as "pikey" and her kids are just "too good" to play with them (her words!). She refers to the families around her as "dregs of society" and constantly moans about the "brats" at her kids school who dare to turn up to school with something on their sweaters or non-polished shoes! (it's a council estate school so this more or less includes all of them!).

She told me she is going to get a job first thing next year and move to a better area asap to get her children away from the "bad influences" and "pikey families" and get them in a "normal" school (by this she means a posh one) with kids that are "More like her's".

She used to only keep this kind of talk to me but she's started saying it to everyone now, she won't talk to anyone who lives near her and she won't talk to anyone at the kids' school so she has no real friends and since she started all this silly talk the family have been ripping the piss out of her and her big ideas.

A single mum on benefits on a council estate looking down on others who are just in the same situation as she is.

Why is she doing this? I don't like everyone taking the mick but she makes herself sound ridiculous.

It sounds to me like your sister may have discovered mumsnet

FGS I can't understand what is wrong with wanting a better life for your kids

i think that it's great that she went to college and wants to get a job so her children can live in a nice, safe place and go to a good school and get a good education. it really upsets me (not saying this is you btw) that you see some families and its like one never ending circle. parents didn't believe in education, getting a job etc so children don't. said children have children and their children get the same beliefs and it goes on. i think its great that she is trying to get out of this and make something better for herself and her future generations of family! i do agree though she shouldn't go around believing that she is better than everyone else cos that's not a good thing for children to pick up on.

From the sounds of it, all she wants is the best for her kids but she should drop the attitude and get on with making these things happen. Who wants to be friends with someone so up themselves?

so your sister is trying to better herself and wants the best for her kids while you and you family 'rip the piss' out of her. i don't think it's her that has the problem.

Good for your sister, you should be really proud of her for going to college, supporting her children on her own and really trying to make a difference for them.

Agree she should be more careful with criticising others though. Perhaps try to have a kindly word with her. But also try to stop your family making fun of her for trying to improve herself, that's not big either.

What's your situation? You're very astute.

this is a piss take if ever I've seen one. a piss take out of us methinks. not a very good one though because we're not that likely to fight about it - cos we're such a bunch of "posh" anti-junk food reading to kids types (I exclude smart clothes - everyone knows that really "posh" kids look scruffy cos their parents only do one wash a week cos too much washing is bad for the environment).

I am a snob - but it's got nothing to do with looking down at people who live on council estates, single parents, how people speak, etc. I don't have a problem if people send their children to school in dirty clothes - though mine always have shiny (black) shoes!

In my view it's what goes on in people's heads that counts.

I can't stand people who let their kids run riot, swear in the street, drop litter etc. Worst of all are the ones who have a cr*p life themselves and resent it when someone else tries to do better.

Anyone who works hard to mke a better life for their children is great in my opinion and deserves support from their family.

Your sister hasn't gone about this the best way - she is alienating those she loves - but she could certainly do with support and respect, not ridicule.

You ought to ask her advice - not run her down