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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

7 years later he regrets letting me go...

31 replies

mysparkleismissing · 28/04/2015 16:39

... yep it's true!

my ex added me on fb last week and started a conversation.

I don't make a habit of adding exes on there but it wasn't a massive break up and emotional. It was more a fizzle with no lasting emotional damage.

so he gets back in touch and after some digging tells me he regrets letting me go and he was stupid to do so. He still lives a 3 hour drive away which he did then. He said he got cold feet about how to take the next step in our relationship. ie me moving up or him moving down, tho we'd never had that conversation.

my life is very different I am a single mum and don't have that many weekends completely without my son as his dad works shifts.

he also works some weekends.

anyway he's asked to meet up for a drink and suggested Friday - which I can't do. But he is coming down in a couple of weeks, his family live fairly close to me.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. which I'm very good at doing. A man pays a little bit of attention and im imagining marrying him! (eak) I tend to fall in love very hard and fast.

just wanted to rant away a but really. I'm struggling with depression and low self esteem at the moment, I can't lie his attention and compliments have eased the loneliness and made me smile.

OP posts:
Fearless91 · 28/04/2015 19:57

7 years is a long time. People change and grow up. It could work this time it could not.

Worth the risk I say.

ILovedYouYesterday · 28/04/2015 20:05

I'd give him a chance. Seven years is a long time, especially if you were both quite young, maybe he just wasn't ready to get serious back then.

Go out for dinner or whatever. Definitely don't have sex with him. Then see what happens.

Just don't get ahead of yourself. If it doesn't work out, meh!

Cabrinha · 28/04/2015 22:34

My friend and I have a phrase for this; "going through the back catalogue". When single, especially if there's been a recent dumping we didn't instigate - where better to go than an ex for a ego boost?

He's either in a relationship, or taking the easy option now.
Who wants to be an easy option?

Spend the time you would have spent on him doing something to improve your self esteem. Then you'll be in a better place to date (someone who isn't just lazily trying it on).

mysparkleismissing · 29/04/2015 10:03

fwiw 5 out of the 7 years I was in a relationship so wasn't on the market anyway
not sure it's a little black book exercise
and certain it isn't him playing away

OP posts:
PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 29/04/2015 11:19

You sound like you want to believe him, sparkle. I think it's a terrible idea, but we will be here for you with no 'I told you so's' if it all goes pear-shaped.

quietasamouse · 07/05/2015 16:17

I wonder how this went.

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