Am I expecting too much?

[useristhe6]

I have NC as I have posted previously and don't want to out myself.

I live with my DP and have done for 18 months. We are both late twenties, he is older. We have been together for 3.5 years in total. My DP works away a lot, though this has never really been a problem as we have regular contact and I quite enjoy the time to myself. We have been very happy together. However, a few things that have become quite upsetting recently:

• I emailed him asking if he wanted me to book tickets to a show at the weekend as they were on offer, and when I asked that evening why he hadn't replied, he told me that he 'wasn't goign to reply to shit like that when he's busy at work.'
• Forgot last week that I was in hospital for half a day (he was working away and I didn't hear from him at all - he forgot)
• Got drunk at the weekend (again while abroad with work), and I didn't hear from him for 24 hours and was really worried about him. Turns out he just 'forgot' to charge his phone.
• Tells me he wil call at x time (again when away) and then I will be reay for the call in the middle of the day and don't hear from him. He will message hours later to say he was out with friends and forgot.
• Two of my best friends are getting married this year, and he has already told me he cant make either wedding because he cant be sure whethr he will be away - I've asked him to specify he needs to be here for them, but he says he doesnt want to do that.

My DP is apologetic about these things, but they keep happening. Am I being precious in expecting more from him?

No, you're definitely not. It sounds almost (sorry) as if he has checked out of the relationship. He's not giving anything.

I am so sorry.

I mean his respect and his commitment are pretty much non existent.

What do you want to do?

This guy isn't a keeper OP. In your own time, you should shuffle out and close the door behind you.

this is not a relationship OP. He has checked out already and has absolutely no intention of staying with you. Get out now.

I think he has now mentally checked out of this relationship as well as physically having done so. He enjoys his work life abroad and sees you now as an increasing inconvenience to him. He is also becoming increasingly unreliable, again perhaps to make you dump him (he being too cowardly to say this is really over and not wanting to appear to anyone as the bad one who ended this relationship).

My XP of three years used to conveniently 'forget' a lot of things. My DH of eight years doesn't.

If he is doing this now, imagine what he will be like when you are married with children?

I think you need to think long and hard whether he is worth the effort. It doesn't sound like he is making an awful lot himself...

He's checked out already. I'm so sorry.

He doesn't sound like good husband material. Get out while you can!

It sounds like he doesn't want to be with you. Sorry but maybe you should confront him and ask him out right.

He is telling you through his actions that you are not important to him.

I know eventually the honeymoon phase of every relationship wears off but this sounds like death by a thousand cuts.

Maybe he hopes you will be the one to finish it. I'm sorry.

You are either not important enough to remember or not important enough for him to inconvenience himself over. Either way it's over.

You know when you see the films and the girl sits at home waiting for the phone to ring because the boy said 'I'll call you' after a good night.

It sounds like you have the relationship equivalent of that.

You are great when he is there. Forgetable when not.

no you are not expecting too much...

I'm dumping my husband for stuff like this. Life is just too short to waste with someone who won't respect basic courtesies and treat you with respect.

I agree with the above posters. You deserve better and he's not showing much in the way of respect.

He is only interested in being a part time partner.

I think you should find someone better

Do you have another thread going?