Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2

Relationships

At what point did you share finances in a relationship?

33 replies

justonemoretime2p · 26/04/2015 23:28

At what point did you share money and equity?
From dating to marriage do you expect to share finances? Savings? Property equity?

No DC but share property that is owned by 1 partner, if all of the property is owned by 1 person before the relationship.
Do you share property? Does that happen when you are married or before?
I'm really sorry if I'm not being clear.

OP posts:

Report

justonemoretime2p · 27/04/2015 20:38

^ I meant maz* sorry

OP posts:

Report

TopOfTheCliff · 27/04/2015 21:12

When I was married first time round and working FT/PT/SAHM we shared everything equally. Now I am divorced and starting again I have met a lovely man who earns 1/3 what I do. We have bought a house together and opened a joint account. He is very generous and always treating me despite the difference in incomes.
I struggle with how to balance the finances. We have protected our capital investments so our respective DC will inherit what we each put in. But the day to day expenses trouble me. If we pay equally I will have lots left over and he won't. If I pay everything he will be cocklodging! Maybe we should pay in proportion to our incomes. I am wary of just throwing everything into one pot as he spends all his spare cash on his hobby and I don't him spending mine too

Report

LuluJakey1 · 27/04/2015 21:52

He sold his flat and moved in with me then we got married and he paid off a chunk of the mortgage on the house with the equity from his flat. His name is not on the deeds though but we are married so I don't think it matters does it?

We have separate ISAs. We have two other accounts that are shared, a savings account and the current account. I also have a separate savings account that the difference between mine and his salary goes into every month as I earn a bit more. I think of it as our security account that I keep for the rainiest day but it is stupid really because we save well every month- not intentionally just that anything left is transferred into savings by the bank and we are not big spenders really.

Report

LuluJakey1 · 27/04/2015 21:54

And we don't have credit cards or debts. We aren't mean, we buy what we like but we just aren't driven by clothes, cars, holidays etc and we have good salaries. We never begrudge each other anything we want.

Report

acatcalledjohn · 27/04/2015 22:14

We don't because I am still paying off a loan (18 months left and counting!) and I don't want to ruin his, frankly, amazing credit score (I'm really rather of him in that respect). By then, or after maybe a year of being debt free would I be happy for a joint account.

Though we split bills for all things we buy together. For now that works fine.

Report

justonemoretime2p · 27/04/2015 22:32

I appreciate your comments but I will have to read them fully tomorrow. When I am completely sober, thanks, TopOfTheCliff, LuluJakey1, acatcalledjohn.

OP posts:

Report

chickydoo · 27/04/2015 22:49

We've been together 25 years and never had a joint account.
We purchased a house together, both names on deeds. DH paid mortgage as he was paid far more than me, I paid for food & a few bills. We never argued about money, we had a similar amount of disposable income, it worked.
I was a SAHM for only 3 years, in that time I had a standing order in to my account from DH, if I needed more I just got him to transfer some money over.
I earn reasonable money now, I pay for some things DH others ( mortgage paid off) still, have 4 kids though 2 at indie schools.DH pays fees. I probably have more disposable income now, but he says he doesn't mind. If he needs money I can just transfer some over.
It works for us, in 25 years we have never argued about money.
Neither of us are very materialistic, we have one old TV and he's not really in to gadgets or expensive clothes. If either of us or the kids wanted something that would be fine, we have the money these days, just nobody wants anything, it 's just stuff.

Report

Gillian1980 · 28/04/2015 00:12

We started sharing money when I moved into his place but didn't put the house into joint names until just before our wedding.

We have a shared account for bills etc but have kept our own accounts too.

I'd have felt quite uncomfortable with my name being added to his house until we had decided on marriage and family as it was his investment.