I think my marriage has ended today. Am scared, what do I do next.?

[mayfly]

Been with Dh for over twelve years. He is bad tempered, disinterested and miserable around me and the kids. (Never violent however)
Told him I had had enough today. And I did mean it.
I think I love him but how can you be sure when you have been together so long anyway?

Cant discuss anything reasonably with him due to his bad temper. So off he has stormed, yet again for the third time today.

Oh God. Now I am petrified that I have done the right thing.
I know I have for my own sanity. I must be worth more than this and am sure I will be happier on my own with the kids.
What do I do now? Do I leave or stay in the house?

Had long (calm) talk with Dh last night.
In the middle of which, he said that he thinks I have neglected myself over the past years, unavoidably because of dedicating everything to the kids.
He pointed out that I never have any time for myself anymore and thinks I should concentrate more on me not on the children.

In summary, that I should find out what it is that I really want from my life. And then strive to get it, whatever IT is. And that he would support me.

It has made me think.

Now am even more muddled than ever due to unexpected sensitive nature of DH!

Emmylou, that's so nice what you said !
Thank you.

i actually think that your Dh has given you some very good advice.

once you are happy within your own skin you will gain so much confidence you wont allow him to speak to you the way he has been, there will be no more shouting or agression because you wont stand for it.

is there anything you have always wanted to do but not been able to?? maybe now is the time to give it a try, whilst DH is still in grovel mode (lol)

agree fattymumma - go for it and take him on his word!