Hi, bit of a long one but need honest advice please.
I'm left my emotionally abusive and controlling partner of 15 years last year. We have a couple of children together. I never loved him, was with him at very young age and to be honest, have never felt more free since leaving him.
I had a short relationship with a seemingly nice guy, we met online and it was a massive thing to sleep with him, as I had hang ups about my body (I'm slim and attractive, but saggy tummy etc from kids. Everything is well hidden by clothes so my appearance can be deceiving ). When it finally happened, I never heard from him. It knocked my confidence further (my ex was very critical of me too).
So, just recently I met a guy online. I've been seeing him just over a month. He seems incredibly genuine, we have so much in common including our past relationship (his ex cheated and he doesn't have as much contact with his child as he'd like) I didn't want to get in too deep, only to sleep with him and face rejection because of my body. So, as cringeworthy as it was, I told him about my hang ups and more a less if he thought it would be an issue, I'd rather know now and we'll call it a day. He was remarkably cool about it. Says his not shallow and likes me for me. This was a huge relief and true to his word, he had no issue with it. Reassured me he found me sexy and attractive and everything seems to be going well in and out the bedroom. It's been refreshing to finally meet someone kind, compassionate, someone I can talk for hours with and have fun. The absolute opposite of my horrid ex.
My problem here is this. We live about a half hour drive from each other, both work and both have days where we have our commitments with our kids. This weekend was a perfect opportunity to meet up as I didn have my children and neither did he. Next weekend will not be possible for either of us. I have been the one to instigate meeting up and he is always happy to do so. I decided that I need to step back to let him take the lead as such. But he never has. As it stands we have not met up this weekend and he has not asked to see me during the week.
I'm scared of coming on too strong so soon but equally would have hoped he would ask to see me? I don't want to jeapodise what could potentially be a great relationship but it's so early days I'd expect he would be just as eager to see me?
We keep in touch by messaging each day. He says he really likes me etc. do I suggest meeting again or leave it to him?
My ex had completely destroyed my self esteem and I'm very inexperienced in relationships. I'm worried I'll come across too needy but equally I don't want to be left in limbo?
Please help me. Don't want to screw it up. Thank you