Did anyone hear the phone-in on Women's hour about relationships in crisis?

[claraschu]

There was an incredibly sad and terribly handled situation at about 24 minutes, a woman named Angela in what sounded like an abusive 44 year long marriage. Jenny Murray asked if they had been to Relate (answer was yes and the husband had made the councillor think everything was the woman's fault), and then JM said she couldn't help but was sorry.

It was a missed opportunity to tell this poor woman that she could get support to leave the man (she thought she would be penniless). I am not explaining this well, but thought that one of you levelheaded and wise people who know this subject inside out could listen to the clip, get in touch with Women's Hour, and explain what was wrong with the response to this woman.

I would write myself, but I think someone else would do it better.

I heard it whilst driving to work and was astonished at the fairly abrupt ending"sorry I cant help you" and moved swiftly on. I know she's a journalist but.....

I would be very surprised if the team behind Women's Hour didn't give this woman some help. Not everything is played out live on radio and they have support workers who may well have given her the support she needed. The people who respond to phone ins are are talked to before they go on air and I'm sure afterwards too.

Do you think it possible that they kept her on the line and have her the advice in private? Maybe they were worried about her identifying herself.
I'd like to think the poor woman wasn't just abandoned to her troubles.

The Women's Hour phone ins are usually about callers sharing their experiences rather than getting help for their problems. This woman obviously needs help, but was on air the best place for it? Having said that JM isn't always the most empathic person, so you could be right.

I wasn't just concerned about this particular woman. I was concerned about the message being given out that couples counselling might be a good idea in an abusive situation, and that it wouldn't be possible to get financial justice for a woman leaving a 44 year marriage. I thought that other abused women listening to this would not have felt at all empowered in any way.

Good points about the probable support going to her behind the scenes.

I didn't hear it but that sounds badly handled. I really hope she did get behind the scenes help. Are you going to email woman's hour maybe?

I did email Women's Hour, but I thought that some people who regularly post on here have a much better understanding of the issue and could write a better email. I think you have to hear the discussion to see how badly it was handled: here is a link if anyone can be bothered:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05r3xc5#auto

The clip is at 24 minutes into the "Relationships in Crisis" episode which aired on Wednesday.

Wow that was so brutal!

I listened to Women' s hour when it aired but never got to the end of the program. This woman sounded so articulate and she has tried to help herself going to Relate,talking to solicitors. Jenni could have handled it better, even if she didnt know the solution, the letdown could have been so much gentler.

"i cant help you I'm afraid..." Yeesh!!

Thanks for listening, Amrapaali.

Angela's predicament is being discussed on R4 now.

I will listen on I player, as I missed it.

It was quite general but highlighted the problem. I'm glad they mentioned Angela, I also thought she was dismissed quite abruptly!

I was also rather shocked at how JM just cut her off. And didn´t suggest that she seek legal advice again, and to go for counselling on her own. There isn´t enough time on air to give full attention to all these complex issues, but there is enough for some quick advice. I hope comments like the above make it through to a future programme, on air.

I am going to try and work out twitter and send a message.

Forget twitter, I have emailed the programme. Much faster.

If they've felt the need to go back to it, I guess we're not the only ones still discussing it and shocked at how badly R4 /JM handled it. I honestly expected better

Jesus , she could have handled that better . To end it that abruptly was very disrespectful and dismissive

Oh my word. That poor woman, especially considering the courage it must have taken her to call up.

How was it discussed again justone? where was it discussed? did they mention some of the above concerns?

I am wondering because I got an automated response, in which there is a email to send complaints to. I don´t know if I should send my email there too.

I also just got an automated response to my email. The follow up today was just discussing economic autonomy for women and didn't mention the other very serious issues and the insensitive response Angela had received. Thanks for writing to Women's Hour PPs.

Yes I was shocked by that. Ifvshe had just said 'hold the line, we'll get someone to speak to you off air would have been better. I thought they should have had an expert to accompany JM.

IMHO JM and journalists in general shouldn't be touching stuff where sensitive or vulnerable people are going to be used for their "story" and promptly dismissed when the skills of the interviewer are inadequate for the job. It takes training to do this correctly. Journalists on TV and radio are people without the skillset for this, JM does not possess the empathy and understanding needed. I'm horrified that they're allowed to do it tbh.