I'm feeling a bit better, still up and down but better. I'm day 16 of a nasty break up involving an affair and him refusing to leave the house and so forcing me to. But I'm feeling a little tiny bit better, today I start french evening classes. I'm sorting out buying him out, just have to hope he agrees and I've taken some control back over my life. I still feel sad for all it could have been with him but he made the choice not to work at our 9 and a bit year relationship not me. I did all I could and I hold my head up high. I'm scared about the future and having to look again for a partner who I can imagine sharing my life with and Im worried about having to deal with him for the next few months to completely get him out of my life. but I'm facing up to it.
So thank you mumsnetters for letting me tell you things I felt I couldn't tell many others. I've been lurking in the background of many of your stories and they have all given me hope and faith that things will and can get better and I want to tell anyone who's in my shoes it's bloody hard and I'm at the start but these wonderful ladies will be here for you.
Big hugs