well.I ended it.

[somegirl]

After me umin and ahmin over my relationship, I decided that I couldnt carry on, so ive ended things. Unfortunatley I did it through text as he lives a couple hours away from me, and it would have been so much harder face to face as i love him so much. I ended it because I couldnt believe anything he said, i have alot of personal insecurities, so everything he says could be completley true but I thought otherwise and it was makung me miserable. He has a history of cheating and pulling the wool over eyes, specially through texting. If i ever confronted about anything he just denied and went quiet. When he came home at weekends we were fine, he loves my kids and they love him (which is why this is so hard) but he was always sneaky with his fone, spents nearly an hour in the toilet with his fone. He always accused me of texting others which i wernt but ive heard this also is a red flag. I still dont know if ive done the right thing as it could be just me being paranoid. He told me he wanted a future with me and the kids but i cant get past this feeling. Guess ive done it now though.

Sounds as if you have made the correct decision. The hard part now is sticking to it.
The red flags are there for you to see and there is no trust between either of you.
Beware the texts will start to reel to you back in.

Thing is, I ended it on a hunch, had no evidence he was doing anything. I checked his fone a couple months ago and there was noting untoward, text wise anyway. He watches porn and has snapchat and all that but nothing else. He knows i know his fones pin so he doesnt hide it from me...

If the relationship was making you miserable, then that's enough reason to end it. You don't need "proof" - your gut feeling is enough. It sounds like you've done the right thing.

Does he have any stuff left at yours that he needs to pick up? If not, I would block his number in your phone or change his name in the contacts to "Do not answer" - it will give you a little push, if he does get in touch, to not get sucked in.

(When my ex buggered off with OW I changed his name in my phone to "ZZ Dickface Surname" so he would also appear at the bottom of the list alphabetically )

I was only miserable when he wasnt here as id be wondering IF he was texting someone else. I know he isnt cheating physically. But he could be texting someone else in between texting me, cause he takes 10 15 mins to reply when he says hes jyst watching tv....im being stupid.

Your instinct is telling you something isn't right - I would listen to that. When you are in a good relationship I think you know it - it feels right. Even if it was just 'your insecurities' you and him should be able to talk it but that isn't happening.

Too many people settle for a relationship when you are actually better alone. The right person can some into your life when you are single. Focus on yourself, what do you want to achieve by this time next year?

well done on getting shot of the prick.

i have alot of personal insecurities, so everything he says could be completley true but I thought otherwise and it was makung me miserable. He has a history of cheating and pulling the wool over eyes,

These aren't "insecurities", OP. It's experience. You KNOW he is untrustworthy. So you therefore (rightly!) also feel that he is untrustworthy.

This is your knowledge and experience talking.

Please don't go kicking yourself now for being "insecure". You're not. He gave you reasons not to trust him, and therefore you do not trust him. It's completely straightforward, completely normal, and completely on him.

Thanks for all your replies...im not replying to his texts...