I am so fed up of not feeling any better, my partner left last june, it's nearly a year now and to be honest i am not sure how much i have progressed. Today he has turned up, looking fantastic, his life seems to be really going well, he is in love, doing well at university etc. It makes me feel so lost and worthless. I seem to be struggling a lot more than him, i'm not sure where i am going or what my future holds, he makes me realise how lonely i am and how a big part of me has dissapeared. He was telling me about all the parties he is going to this weekend and then asking me what i am doing. Nothing is my answer i won't get out this weekend, can't afford the babysitters. No matter how i try i just feel stuck in a rut of looking after the kids, he turned up with presents and has gone off in a taxi to take them to a restaurant. At some point my life has changed and his seems to still be on track. I hated seeing him it has been two months, i forgot how much i loved him, i couldn't even look in his eyes for fear of seeing what i have lost. How come he has moved on and i seem to still cling to the past. I am tired of all the responsibility i have, i just really want someone to stand by me and take some of the pressure off. I fel like i am constantly treading water just trying to get through the week and remember everything i have to do. I am scared to death that i will always be alone and struggle financially, trying my best just to make sure the kids are fine. I don't want to resent my x and feel all this pain everytime i see him. I know it is time to forgive him and not walk around with this hate and love and mixed up head, i want to move on, it just doesn't seem to be happening.