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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Where do you draw the line

3 replies

wheelsanddollbaby · 04/11/2006 21:11

I have been trying(struggling) to communicate with my ex for the sake of our son. Things are irretrievely bad between us and due to his horrendous behaviour in the past I have no trust in him whatsoever. I drifts in and out of our son's life whenever he feels like although tries to call him fairly regularly. Recently he complained that I never let him see his son without me being there( I have done in the past and my son has returned with all sorts of behavioural problems). I compromised slightly and have let him take our son for short periods during the day without me being there. This seemed to work well until my son told me that he had been into a hairdressing shop with his Daddy and a lady. One of my husband's women has had the audacity to call me and tell me that she had to take care of my son, when he was in my husbands care and as I was working(childminder on holiday). Ever since then I have told him not to introduce my son to any of his 'women'. For the last two weeks my husband has not called or visited his son and when I discuss why not he comes out with all manner of excuses. Today, it transpired that he was "cutting us off" because I would not let him see our son if another woman was present. Is he trying to prove to someone that our marriage is over(finally) by not calling his son or am I wrong not to let him introduce my son to other women. One of the many reasons for my husband walking out on us is that I am "too posh!" and if that's how he feels I shudder to think what kind of riff raff he intends to let my son bond with. I have no idea if he is in a committed relationship or not and I do not want him being confused by one girlfriend after another, this is hardly a good example. I have not had a partner since my husband walked out on us in 2004 and I do not intend to introduce him to all and sundry if I do start to date again. Am I wrong for feeling this way? As far as I see it, my ex is continually(as he did when we were married) changing the goal posts and he will not be happy until he manages to steal my son from me the way he has taken everything else that was good in my life.

OP posts:
BATtymumma · 04/11/2006 21:17

you are correct in asking him not to introduce your son to different women on his visitis and it is absolutley wrong for him to leave your child in someone elses care.

SittingBull · 04/11/2006 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

divastrop · 05/11/2006 20:51

i think you would be better off seeing a solicitor and arranging a proper contact order,outlining what you will and wont accept from him etc(ie not leaving your son with other people)that way he can either accept it and carry on seeing his son or break it and let his relationship with his son go down the toilet.and whatever happens,you will know you have done the right thing by your son.

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