No sex, not sure what to do

[Shitforbricks]

Newbie here, please be kind lol.

I have been in a relationship for 3 yrs with my DP and he has ed, which isn't helped by his vices of smoking and drinking, he can't take any Viagra because of a medical condition. Anyway he has never had a high sex drive but I didn't know this until about 8 months in, thought he was being respectful not trying it on too soon and taking it slowly. Then we went through a period of about 6 months of being very frequent, although I always had to initiate it, this has now stopped and we have had it once in 9 months, I have approached the subject with trepidation as he's not a good communicator and was met with he has ed (which I accept) and he never feels the desire. I love this man dearly but I don't want to live my life not feeling sexy, wanted and attractive, all of which I have voiced to him. The answer I always get is, it will get better but it never does.

Has anybody got any ideas apart from dumping him?

Once a year on your birthday?! How.....dutiful of him.

And how would you feel afterwards? Knowing the door was closed for another 12 months?

You're on a short slippery slope to having your self esteem seriously done in here.

cant you just stay friends? Not really a good life for you. Theres nothing wrong or shameful for you to need sexual intimacy in a relationship. If you dont have that, youre just buddies really, not lovers

I was being sarcastic with the birthday remark, it must hVe got lost in translation, sorry.

My thoughts are, I know sex is an important part of a relationship but it's not the most important part for me, everything else is brilliant and it isn't hard work apart from this incompatibility. I think one last showdown is necessary and then my decision will be based on that.

If he doesn't agree to counselling or some form of compromise then I have to think of myself, as selfish as that might sound, for me it's not the actual act of it, it's the acceptance from him that this is the way it is, so deal with it, which on the face of it appears to be attitude.

And that is not acceptable to me.

High blood bp can cause ED and so can can the drugs used to treat it. Is he on any medication?

If he made some lifestyle changes he might be able to lower his blood pressure and get an erection. Why doesn't he do it?

If he refuses to do anything about it then I think you should ditch him!

He's on medication for his high bp but he stills get this awful headache when he's just about to cum, doctor said that's something that can happen with high bp. I think he's scared of it happening, so she's away from it, I've seen it happen and he's literally debilitated when it happens

Do you think the drugs could be causing the ED? Can his GP offer him anything else? That said, if he was my DP I'd be threatening to leave him if he didn't change his lifestyle and do something about it.

Are you sure you want to stay with him? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life without sex just because your DP can't be arsed to do anything about it?