How has your family been changed by a fall out?

[NameChangerooney]

Is there a way back from a big fall out? When things have been said can you ever really forgive and forget?

Even if people try to move on is it inevitable that things just can't ever be the same?

Over the last few weeks there's been a family situation and I'm struggling to see how we can move on. I guess I'm looking for happily ever after stories to give me hope but that's not real life is it? Please tell me it is

Im sorry. Not generally in my experience.

Sometimes you can move on and actually upwards and better depending on what exactly was said and how it was handled and most of all, if people -want- to move on constructively. It's not impossible.

But generally once it gets to the stage you're saying, no, things will never be the same. Once people say things to hurt, or once they let out certain truths that were better left unsaid, it's rare that you can really overcome it unless something so big and dramatic happens that it overshadows everything that's gone on.

Not in mine either.
My ExH brother still doesn't talk to his own mum after a major fall out.
He doesn't really speak to any of his family.
Their son has missed out on lovely grand parents and aunties and uncles.
That was probably 10+ years ago and it's still not resolved.
Not sure if ever will be.

My uncle stopped talking to my mum and aunt when my grandfather died and the house wasn't given to him their aunt died today and he refused to speak to her on the phone. He's a sad sad man God knows what's going on in his head

I think it depends who is involved, how 'structural' the problems are, and how entrenched people get.

In my family I think the answer is probably 'no' because the trust was never there so there is nothing to fall back on. The root of the problem is probably one if not two generations back. Hopeless!

But in some families I think things can work out if there is someone who is sufficiently trusted and valued by both sides to be listened to, who has the skills to help people find common ground. A friend of mine has done this in her family and its been wonderful to see estranged people come together and start rebuilding.

I had a big falling out with my parents and we went NC. Over the tears the reasons seemed less important to me and I wondered if we could reconcile. May mum was open to this but my dad very much was not and would not let my mum contact me. I wasn't in a position to ring her etc as my dad would always be there.

My mum died in February. I wonder what would have happened if I had just turned up anyway? I'll never know now but I think what I'm trying to say is that you need to make sure your reasons are 100% solid and think how you would feel if you were in my position x

Sorry about all the typos.

Our family has totally splintered. Was always brewing though, so hardly a surprise and no-one is going to change so there really is no point.
One of my brothers and I know we're there if either of us really need the other, but otherwise we all just get on with our own lives. Healthier for each of us that way.

Thanks everyone, it seems it's not uncommon for familys to go no contact. since you dont choose your family I can see why and I dont think just being related means everyone will get on but its so hard when things like these happen