Partner proposed :) 7 year old daughter isnt happy about it

[bossmum41]

My partner has just proposed and my Son is thrilled my Daughter isnt . She is finding it hard and keeps telling me to take the ring off and she doesnt want my partner in the family .
My daughter and partner get on very well and ive never had any problems till this.
Any ideas on how to deal with this ?

I remember feeling like this at 8 when my DM remarried, my step father was a lovely person and we all got on fantastically but in my 8 year old mind I though somehow she wouldn't be my mum anymore if she got married again, I thought they would go off and have babies of their own and leave me out. Totally ridiculous, I never told them because I thought they would laugh at me. We all survived, they had more babies and we all get on fantastically.

It's great that she's already talking to you about this. Now you need to keep listening to her. Ask her questions about how she feels without being in any way defensive. In other words hold off with the constant reassurance (it'll be fine...you love DP...I just want us to be happy etx etc) and just let her talk. Let her tell you her worries without interrupting ( very difficult as this kind of situation makes us anxious and therefore we want to explain and justify!) and then ask "is there anything else you want to tell me?" Keep going (gently, when appropriate) until she gets it all out. Give her space to tell you how she feels; this is a big change and she needs time to come to terms with it.

Sometimes I don't think they know themselves, I used to cry every time my mum went out with my step dad even though I liked him. I couldn't explain why I felt like that at the time I just did!

My son got upset once when we were having a water fight and dp chased me with some water, I was screaming playfully and he got really upset but he couldn't explain why he was upset he just was, threw me that one did bless him ! She'll be ok after some time ;-) xx

I suppose she was not consulted when you separated from her father, and she is not being consulted now, really she has no power, and will have to toe the line like all children whose parents split, and remarry. Like most have experienced here, including myself.

This just sounds like a kid who doesn't respond well to change. Just show her that nothing will, and she'll settle into place.

Maybe get her excited about the wedding?