Moving town to be with dp

[Thatslife72]

I've lived on my own bringing up my children on my own now for 5 years with very little help and have no family living locally. I've done ok so far, they are both doing well at school have friends and I'm close to both my children. I've made some mistakes with relationships, but I also didn't stay with anyone that was bad for me or the children. I've now met someone who we've all been really happy with, he has 2 children the same age we've had numerous holidays and days out together and it's been fabulous for 3 years, no silly games, no real arguments seem to be on the same page and we all just laugh 95% of the time. However it has been difficult living in different towns in separate houses, it would take too long to explain how and why but it's basically time to move to the next stage and I do want to be settled and stable. For many reasons we have decided it's best for me to move to his town, but I'm worried for the children moving schools, worried about meeting new friends and feeling isolated while he had his friends and family around him. I really get on with his mum, but his brother can be a bit rude at times and he has friends that have made me feel unwelcome at times.

I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing, but then no situation is perfect I guess but its a big step I'm starting to panic a bit. Has anyone else done this moving to a new town for their dp. I did it for my now ex husband 15 years ago and well it didn't work out, wondering if this will be any different. Thinking lack confidence too a bit so finding it a but daunting !

Am I being selfish though? My dd is saying I should think of them, their dad lives here they only see him every other weekend and on a Wednesday for a few hours, the Wednesday may change but I've said I'll do all I can to make sure they see him, but it is only 30 mins away. But she making me feel guilty. I honestly have always put them first. All my family live in Liverpool and I didn't move back up there because of them and wanted them to see their dad, but it's not been easy doing it on my own and a few months ago I was very ill to the point I nearly died. There was no one to look after me at all, my dp did what he could but he has his own kids so he couldn't be here all the time, that's when it was really hard living in separate towns and living on my own with 2 children to care for.

My mum left my dad when I was young, I had no choice were we lived we just upped and left 200 miles away and I didn't see my dad much at all. But I didn't want that for my kids, but I don't want to be on my own either. I don't want to be with any old dick head either would rather be on my own but this guy really does suit me and my kids, he's the one I know.

I moved 2.5hrs away to be with my DP. It was scary and felt quite apprehensive. But I'd been with him several years, knew he was 'the one' and adored his children.
The house is too small and the commute to work is too long but for our families it was definitely the right thing to do. We are all really happy.

How old are your children? (Sorry if you've already said; I can't find it.)

My daughter is 12 in June and my son 9. His are 11 and 9

I think your DD is just scared of leaving her friends. 30 mins is nothing so she can still see her DF whenever she wanted, going on a bus or a train will be an adventure and not too long to get bored by. My DCs missed a few old school friends but they've all kept in touch over FB and they've visited here and my DCs back home. I do think that's probably all she's afraid of. You are not being selfish.

Thanks hellkitty, I think your right, of course she's worried about leaving friends etc and her dad. However I have promised her she will see her friends and it really won't make much difference to seeing her dad, he or I just have to travel a bit further. Also though no one knows were he will end up living, I could decide to stay in this town due to him being here and then he could if he wanted to move somewhere else anyway so I don't think I can put my life on hold for him. I'm very close to my dd but she's at the age were she thinks about herself lol. I think when she starts seeing a house she'll be excited, one we're looking at she will actually have her own en suite!

Fabulous! Work on the en-suite and plan for a friend or friends to come over for a few nights during the holidays. And tell her how good the shops are! In our case my DCs friends prefer to come to our home city as there is so much more to do.