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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone else find this odd re ex H

14 replies

Louboutin37 · 20/04/2015 14:09

So the perfect nosy opportunity presented itself to me at the weekend when my ex put this house on the market (the old marital home that I lived in)

He moved in his third wife in after less than a year of me leaving and he proposed to her before our divorce had been finalised, marrying her within 6 months of the divorce.

The house is exactly as I left it. Wallpaper is the same, all furnishings/furniture that I removed have been replaced identically, etc. When I lived with him I did all of the decorating myself so I can understand him not doing anything but if you were the new wife and moving into your ex's house, wouldn't you want to get the ex-missus' stamp on the place gone as quickly as poss? There's even the same candles that I bought, still in their same spot on the bathroom windowsill

Oh, and people have commented on his new wife being the spitting image of me.

Don't get me wrong, I left a controlling, manipulative, abusive cheating wotsit of a husband as many of you know so there's no pangs of affection there, and I relished in the opportunity to be nosy, we had no kids so I've never had reason to be back to that house.

But this is weird right?

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FelicityGubbins · 20/04/2015 14:19

Actually I don't think it is that odd, as I know a few women that have done this, I think it gives the silly cows a feeling of superiority, like they have totally usurped the ex wife, in actuality they have sold themselves extremely short but hey ho!

faitaccompli · 20/04/2015 14:20

If he is controlling etc etc, then he probably didn't let her change it. Or maybe she didn't care and just said she wanted to move house. WHo knows. Did you actually make an appointment to view the house?

TheJiminyConjecture · 20/04/2015 14:23

If she even asked he probably told her that it was him who decorated.

Or she's put her foot down and the reason for the move is a fresh start perhaps?

pocketsaviour · 20/04/2015 15:15

I could understand the wallpaper not changing, but replacing the furniture you took with identical ones is plain weird.

The candles thing is just bizarre. But as a PP said if he is controlling then maybe he's insisted on it all staying like that over her protests?

Louboutin37 · 20/04/2015 16:04

He probably did tell her it was all his own work to be fair. I hope for her sake she's put her foot down!

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Lydiand · 20/04/2015 16:52

Could they be old photos? Did he try to sell the house before, when you first split up and the estate agents are just using those pics?

Louboutin37 · 20/04/2015 17:14

No, they're definitely new photos, I know this as I took the sofa with me and he replaced it with the same colour, different fabric. that's pretty much the only change. There's a couple of other bits that have been replaced that are subtly different, i.e. you can tell they're from Next or similar, but same colours, different range, same sizes etc.

Luckily for me everything has changed, I've gradually replaced most of the bits I took with me as after a while I didn't like looking at the old memories, and my partner now couldn't be any more different if he tried!

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confusedoflondon · 20/04/2015 17:29

I couldn't care less what furniture or decor my dp had to be fair. It's fairly irrelevant.

Handywoman · 20/04/2015 17:40

That's really weird, how long are we talking in actual terms? Is he lazy about decorating? Maybe moving is her way of putting her mark? I do think it's weird.

Louboutin37 · 20/04/2015 18:40

I left late 2011, she moved in late 2012. I'm realising that I sound like some sort of stalker in looking but my friend was just as curious, she told me the pics were online!

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Lavenderice · 21/04/2015 10:12

Did you make an appointment to go and view it, or just look on the photo's in the website.

If you went to view it I find that as strange as all the other stuff.

Louboutin37 · 21/04/2015 13:15

No or course not. that would be strange.

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 21/04/2015 13:28

I don't think it is so very peculiar - he wanted a controllable pliant version of you, she was only too eager to step into your life with ex.
More fool her!

Louboutin37 · 21/04/2015 13:34

that's a good way of looking at it Donkeys. It's a bit of a running joke with a mutual friend who said "she's just like you but she lacks your bite" I'll leave him to it. with any luck he's leaving the country with the poor girl

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