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My story might be a bit long so please bear with me.

Last year, the day before we were due to go on holiday I got a Facebook message from a girl telling me she was and had been for 6 months, having an affair with my husband. I feel sick writing this. my husband did not deny it, but insisted it was over. I went crazy, we were going the very next day to stay with his family on holiday for almost 3 weeks and I hated every bone in his body. We have a 4 year old. At the time I wasn't sure what to do & it seemed easier to go on the holiday than explain to others why we didn't. It's 6 months on now, I accuse my husband on a weekly basis of cheating again. Every fight I turn back onto him & blame the affair. I resent him. And I feel totally trapped. We are in quite a bit of debt, couple of credit cards. I don't want to move but couldn't afford mortgage or rent alone. I don't have any family close by. I really don't know what I would do or where I would go but I'm mentally tortured by the whole thing. I'm so unhappy and don't feel like I can turn to any of my friends to chat it through so I'm just going crazy inside my head. I just think I would be so much happier without him, I know I will never trust him again. But I'm stuck for cash, I can't afford my own place. I'm trapped.

Hi OP, so sorry you're feeling like this, it must be awful

After the fallout of the affair, did your husband commit to making any changes? Did you see a relationship counsellor?

Is it the mis-trust which is making you want to leave, or do you feel now that things have gone too far to ever be happy again?

He said he was going to make changes but there haven't been any. No counsellor and I feel we didn't talk it through enough due to leaving for the holiday and being around family. I can't see me ever being happy if I can't trust him. We had a silly little argument over nothing last night & he said he was going out. I stupidly said to our child oh daddy's going out to see his girlfriend. Their reply was but your daddy's girlfriend. I said he has another that he meets in a hotel. My husband was furious and told me to stop brain washing our child.. I know I shouldn't bring our child into it and I regret it. I've text him some horrible things today, hoping our child doesn't get any values from him etc.. I'm a mess. I have anxiety and panic attacks from it and I'm honestly not sure he cares

You need to arrange to talk, without children. Only then can you start sorting it or working out your exit plan. You understandably resent him.
Also, talking to friends will get it out of your head and hopefully offer real life support

Please do what ever you can to leave this relationship.
Using your child and saying things like that are an awful thing to do.
Yes you are hurting, but involving your poor child is now going way too far.
You don't want to be with him so look into things and get separated from him asap before you do any more damage to your DC.
Make an appointment with CAB and get a free half hour with a solicitor to see where you would stand financially.

It was similar for me. He went ahead on holiday with our DD and I found out whilst he was away about the affair. I still went and joined him though. Worst mistake ever.
But we live and learn and you need to as well.
Your bitterness is damaging your child and that is not OK.

I knew I couldn't forgive and forget which is why I ended my marriage.

If you are going to stay together then you need some counselling. You need to move forward and not look backwards.
You can't throw this in his face all the time. It's just toxic and awful to live with.

for you. Many of us been there. Some can work through it, for a lot though it's a deal breaker.

I can turn to any of my friends to chat it through so I'm just going crazy inside my head
Why can't you?
TBH I thought the same. I kept his dirty little secret.
But... when I did tell my friends it was such a huge relief.
You really need some RL support so please speak to a friend about it all. The weight you will feel lifting from you will be so worth it.

You need to do something about this, other than what you are doing. I appreciate that you are very hurt and feel isolated, but your bitterness is going to eat you alive, and is already causing distress to your child. If your H won't agree to couple counselling, find a counsellor on your own.
It does sound as though he has insisted on brushing the whole business under the carpet - has he acknowledged, in any way, that what he did was unfair and caused you pain? If he is behaving as though it doesn't matter, it's understandable that this makes you feel as though you don't matter to him except as a household appliance and child minder.

Something needs to change, and soon. That was an awful thing to say to your child. :(