Dealing with feelings caused by exH remarrying

[3mum]

So apparently exH is marrying his dodgy Eastern European next month (more fool him, but that's his choice). I really, really don't want him back. He was a shitty husband who never did anything but abuse me, cheat and fail to support me in any way and I am sure he is no better with her.

The hardest thing though is that, bizarrely, the news has made me feel really churned up inside. If even that wanker prefers to be married to anyone else rather than me, that really does confirm that I am completely unacceptable.

I know something which would wreck his precious career and I am so so tempted to use it. Throughout I have tried to be the better person and behave well. Where is my payback? it seems like only the abusive thrive.

May have had a glass or two of wine - can you tell?

Try not to dwell on things. You are better off without him and it's the new woman who will now be experiencing his crappy behaviour.

Tempting as it may be - do not do anything! The best revenge really is living a better life. Difficult I know (I'd love nothing more than to hit my ex where I know it would hurt) but nothing good would ever come of that.

I felt left behind like this on ex's wedding day. She was welcome to him but I still felt shit.

Key q: are you in a relationship?

It's difficult. The emotions you feel are entirely valid, so just go ahead and feel them

You're upset about what could have been, and what should have been.

You should, if the universe was fair, have had a decent hubby - it's absolutely not your fault he was a shit and you're better off out of it, but it's natural I think to have a twinge when they get remarried. It's like in an alternative future, everything would have been great and it's that idea you're mourning (not sure if that makes sense, it's clear in my head.) the fact that the reality is different is neither here nor there. I broke up with a long term NF many years back and even though it was all amicable as it could be, I mourned the idea of the future together that I'd built.

The best revenge really is living well. do something nice for yourself today, you're worth it :)

You were too good for him, and he knows it. You are a brave, strong woman who refused to be treated like that, so he has moved on to someone who is not in your league and who will allow herself to be treated like a doormat. You should feel proud of yourself for getting away from the loser.

After a really horrible divorce, I've been happily remarried for nearly 7 years now. But last year my ex remarried and I was surprised how upset I felt. Totally illogical, but I couldn't help it.