I've tried to keep this simple - dont want to give too much specific detail as don't want to be outed but I am a regular.
My sibling passed away less than 2 weeks ago. I'm still processing how I feel as it happened very quickly and due to logistics/travel etc, I was the only sibling there at the v end. I feel very privileged but quite guilty as no one else was able to be there too + it was a shock as I've never been in that position before. I think I'm possibly still in shock.
On same day sibling passed away, my partner of 18 months was diagnosed with a very very rare type of cancer. He seems to be dealing with it quite well and because it's been found early, his future, albeit very different to present, should be ok. He has to have a major life changing operation in a few weeks and will then be on meds for life as well as other things.
Point is, I simply haven't felt as if I've had room in my head to take it all in and be there for him. My immediate reaction was simply to see the worst possible outcome ie I was/am scared. I know that actually DP's circs/future is quite positive but I'm finding it hard to process everything and feel as if I'm having to split my brain between dealing with my grief for sibling and finding the room/space to support DP. He understands and has been marvellous but I think he's beginning to feel as if he needs more from me (he doesn't have siblings/parents to support him).
I simply don't know what to do or what is expected of me. My head feels as if its going to explode and i feel dreadfully guilty ie I want to be completely there for DP but how??
Any help/perspective would be gratefully received.