My ExH told my 3 and 5 year old that it was my decision to split up the family when I left my H. We have 50/50 care of the children.
Everything I've read said that you should tell the children (at this young age) that it was an adult decision made by both parents. They don't need details at this age.
I left my exH because he was an EA bully and I didn't want the children to think that how he treated me was the way a man should treat a woman.
So when my 5 year old asked me point blank the reason why I left daddy, I didn't tell her and said I would tell her when she was older but it had nothing to do with her and it was between daddy and I.
My exH is trying to paint me out to be the bad person to the children, although this is the only 'bad' thing he can come up with because I am a great mum to the children. I also think he was trying to protect himself so they didn't think it was his decision. He is very angry about me leaving.
I was tempted to say "because daddy wasn't nice to mummy" to set the record straight but bite my tongue because I think they're still too young.
Do they ever have to know? He is abusive to me at drop offs, normally out of earshot of the children, but I'm sure they've heard some of the things he's said.
So do I wait, take the high ground or tell them in a gentle way that doesn't make them feel they have to choose sides?