My sister who I only see once a year, if that and don’t have a close relationship, with always sends expensive gifts for me and my now adult children for Christmas and Birthdays. Her adult children also send gifts for my adult children. They always come via my mother. I always send just cards for her and cards and gifts for her adult children although nothing matching her generosity as we can’t afford it. On occasions I have forgotten or been late with a card and my mother has gone ballistic.
To cut a very long story short I have now discovered that for the past 40 years every single card and gift from my sister and her children has been bought, wrapped and paid for by my mother. My mother has even written all the cards. My sister has always been the golden child, but I am in shock. My mother does not know I know this and neither does my sister. It also makes me so angry that I have felt so guilty over the years and felt it was a habit that should have been long forgotten, but kept on due to my mother’s nagging and my sisters supposed generosity.
I have no idea how to handle this. My mother is 83 and my sister is 60. I feel I have been manipulated all these years and it hurts. My sister must know as we always thank her for any gift via txt/email. My mother is a very difficult woman and even at her age will probably deny all knowledge. Where do I go from here?