Low testosterone? Referral to sexual health clinic.

[Undefined]

DP recently spoke to his GP about premature ejaculation. He was having blood tests for other reasons so his GP asked for a testosterone check as well.

The test has come back with a count of 11. GP said that anything between 9 and 26 is normal but it has really upset DP that he is on the 'low' side. I've googled and can't find anything that mentions these figures so I'm wondering if he's misunderstood the results. I'd really appreciate any info from anyone that knows what this might mean.

His GP asked lots of questions about our sex life and that has made me very uncomfortable. He was my GP up until a couple of years ago (I changed because we moved but DP stayed because he has ongoing health issues and his GP is sympathetic) and he was referring to me by my first name. For example: "does Julie* have an orgasm when you are intimate", and "have you found Julie's g-spot".

Isn't this overstepping the mark a bit? What does it have to do with DP having premature ejaculation?

*Not my real name.

The GP said he would refer DP for sexual counselling at a sexual health clinic.

In all honestly I feel like total shit for complaining about DP's performance. DP wasn't premature for the first few years of our relationship; it started when DS (13) was born and sex became less frequent (once or twice a month). It's only been in the past few years that it's bothered me and it came out in an argument a few weeks ago. I don't know why I blurted it out and I wish I hadn't. DP is incredibly conservative about sex and I don't know how he'll cope with 'sexual counselling'. I imagine he will just freeze up!

Has anyone else been through this or anything similar?

If his PE is caused by infrequent sex why doesn't he just masturbate more often? You could also go twice during sex so he lasts longer the second time.

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't testosterone linked to aggression in men so being on the lower end is a plus?

Perhaps your DH mentioned to theGP that he wasn't satisfying you and so GP was checking that he knew these things (not everyone even does!)/was trying? If not in that sort of context, then it does sound a bit odd.

My DH was referred to sexual counselling and he's also very conservativ in this respect. One on one with the therapist he did talk. I've gone to some sessions too and in fact it's helping him talk a bit more in general.

For my DH it's important that I'm VERY supportive, which means not asking any questions about how it's going at times.

I'm a male with a fair amount of knowledge on this - I'm a natural bodybuilder in my early 40s, so natural testosterone levels is a major subject for me.

First of all, test (for short) levels in males drop off a cliff over the age of about 30. It is related to far more than aggression and sexual performance - it really is the essence of "male-ness", and low levels can have some severe mental effects, including depression, insomnia, all sorts of issues. If you've got good levels, you aren't naturally aggressive or horny all the time - it's more that you feel great, and are able to be productively aggressive or horny whenever you need to.

The natural drop off that comes with age has been exacerbated massively by the poor quality diet (think hormones in pre-packed foods) that many of us eat, as well as the amount of chemicals in our daily life - shampoo, toothpaste, etc.

If your husband's levels were particularly low, the doctor could prescribe test therapy treatment. But since he seems to fall within the range of normal, albeit at the lower end, I doubt he would be willing to do that. Fortunately there are many things that he can do naturally to improve his test levels.

I won't go on in this post since I'm not clear from your post whether you'd be interested, but quite happy to help if I can.

Thanks for the replies guys. Sorry I haven't been able to get back to this sooner.

mommy DP does masturbate but I've no idea how often and he looks really uncomfortable if I ask when he last did it. He is adamant that he didn't do it at all until he met me, as a virgin, in his mid-twenties. He comes from a religious family and sex and arousal was thought of as a very bad thing. He lasts ok with a hand job and can't get to orgasm through oral at all. He says that penetration makes him feel 'frenzied' and he can't hold off.

AmyLeah yes, I think you're right about the doctor's questions. I can see why he might have mistaken DP's embarrassment for naivety. He's a fantastic doctor and I shouldn't have implied that he was being pervy. Like you mentioned, I am backing off on trying to talk to DP about this at the moment. I sense he just doesn't want to go there. It's good to hear that the counselling is working for you both.

blue thanks for giving a male perspective on this. DP is also early 40s and used to do a bit of bodybuilding. He can't do it anymore as he has mobility problems. I would never say it to him but it hasn't surprised me that his testosterone levels are on the low side. Although he looks very masculine, large frame, hairy, strong jaw etc, he's a very gentle, sensitive man. He cries easily, has a tendency to get depressed and I don't think I've ever seen him get properly angry. Obviously I love him the way he is but I think he feels a bit 'less than a proper man' since finding out why he might be this way.

I am interested in finding out a bit more about naturally raising his testosterone levels. Not that I think he would take the advice - he won't seek the information out on his own and I would never tell him that I'd posted about this. I just would like to know whether boosting his 'test' would make him feel better and how it might change his character.

Undefined, I will try to make this as brief as I can, because there is so much that I could write, but feel free to ask me to expand on any of the points if you'd like to know more. I'm going to ignore your husband's mobility issues for now, in order to list the things I would recommend, in order of preference and beneficial effect. So I would say to look at:

1. Weight Training
2. Clean diet and quality foods
3. Certain super foods
4. Supplements
5. Avoidance of chemicals

WRT weight training, it really is the single most beneficial thing you can do to increase test levels. It has the added benefit of literally shredding fat and building muscle, so it has a very positive mental / self image effect as well. And depending on how you train, it can also be a very effective way of cardio training. Obviously I don't know what his mobility issues are, but is there any possibility that he could work around them? At 42, my hips are too tight for me to do some of the exercises I would like to do, but I can always find ways around them. And actually, my enjoyment of the training means that I try to find ways to fix my mobility issues rather than simply accepting them, so if there is any way he could get back in the gym and enjoy it as he obviously did before, that would be brilliant for him.

I don't know what your diet is like, so forgive me if it sounds like I'm making assumptions. But the cleaner and better quality the food he can get, the better it will be for his test levels. That means organic where possible, grass fed for meat. Our groceries bill is quite huge, but there are ways to reduce it if you have the time to put some effort into it. But whatever you do, really try to minimise the junk food or processed foods if you eat them. As a nutritionalist friend said to me, "If you can't pronounce the ingredients, they are not good for you". It's a simple rule of thumb to stick to.

There are also some "super foods" that apparently help - eg avocado and good quality salmon. Honestly, I don't know how many of these really have a direct effect on test levels - I tend to work on the basis of eating very high quality proteins and fats, and getting plenty of omega 3's. I'm also in favour of seriously reducing carbohydrate intake, or at least, minimising sugar, and maximising low GI carbs, eg sweet potato. These help keep energy levels high and consistent for a few hours, as opposed to the peaks and troughs that high GI carbs or sugar cause. This alone will help to control insulin levels, which means the body's hormonal balance is easier to keep in check.

I'm reticent to mention supplements, as there are many out there that are pure snake oil. That said, I can't ignore the fact that some of them do work, and even if it's a placebo effect, if it makes a difference, why the hell not? The two that I "feel" improving my test levels are ZMA and Tribulus Terrestris. They are both inexpensive, freely available, and ZMA may well help fix zinc and magnesium deficiencies which you didn't know existed. It helps with sleep as well. Tribulus has a noticeable effect on my libido, and because of that, I generally "feel" that I have higher test levels as a result. I am not claiming scientific proof of this, only listing what I see as really having an effect. Other supplements that people claim to get results from are D-Aspartic Acid and Tongkat-Ali. Both can be bought relatively cheaply. Personally they both make me nauseous and I don't feel any benefit from them, others do. It's up to you, and may be a case of experimenting to see if / what works for him. Whatever you do, avoid the type of "advanced" secret formulas you see advertised for bodybuilders. The only thing they are advanced at is parting you from your money.

Finally, and this is really pushing the envelope a little, you might want to look at removing as many chemicals as possible from his daily life. I use paraben free shampoo and flouride free toothpase, although this for me is more about being as free of chemicals as I can, not just test related.

Oh, and obviously cigarettes and alcohol, although I think the latter is good in small doses.

I just looked up and saw that my brief post is massive. Sorry about that, I really hope some of it is useful. As I say, feel free to let me know if you would like some more info on any of it.

Well done on being so sensitive to his needs. You sound like a caring wife. In light of his religious upbringing perhaps you might both benefit from researching how religion sees sex within marriage. I can't give you specifics but there are many books and websites dedicated to religious sex and educating people on how it is not only good for you but just how naughty you can go and still stay true to your beliefs. It may give him comfort and a feeling of permission to relax more.

blue and mommy thanks very much.

No time to reply properly but didn't want to appear ungrateful for the help and info you've given.