Really need advice. About a month ago I had an email from my friend's husband, boldly asking me to have an S&M threesome with him and his mistress. He didn't come out with his identity at first... it was a series of emails from an anonymous address. (It was quite out of the blue and I let my dh read along from the start... didn't want it to become something between us, but definitely wanted to find out who was behind the emails!) The background is that this man and I were friends over ten years ago, and had a rather obvious mutual crush, but I was engaged and nothing came of it. I set him up with my wonderful friend, and they got married. It's really a strange twist of fate because, when my husband cheated a few years ago, this man's wife was one of a few confidants that I could count on. She is one of the most thoughtful, non-judgmental, kind people I know and was the perfect person to hold my hand through some gut-wrenching times. During those conversations she said she would forgive her husband if he cheated...she would not want to be divorced if the marriage could be saved. She helped me have the courage to work it out with my own husband, and we are doing well now. So now, I know this horrible thing. I told him his wife needs to know what he's up to, and that being honest with her would be the best thing he could do. He said he would talk to her. But it's been a month and I know she doesn't know. I'm racked with guilt because I've been through this in my own marriage. She deserves to know what's happening... it's her life, too. But he said he will talk to her and I don't want to insert myself if they can work it out on their own. What would you do??