Sad end of relationship- handholding needed please :(

[tadpoleswithlegs]

I need some advice on how to cope with the sadness that is taking over me. I am 40, have been with my partner since we were 20 and have three children under ten.
He is a lovely person and has never done me any wrong, he has always worked, no abuse and been a great Dad to the kids. For the last year things haven't been right between us, we have grown apart and have nothing in common anymore- no hobbies and very little sex. We have both tried so hard to hide these feelings of dissatisfaction with our lives and plodded through burying our heads in our seperate hobbies and jobs but it has all come to a head where we have finally admitted that the relationship has come to an end- we are like friends not partners.

The sadness is overwhelming and I am finding it hard to deal with, if any one can offer any advice I would really appreciate it as I can't stop cying and mourning the loss of the life that I wanted so much.

If any one recognises me in real life from this post then please don't mention it to me as I will die of embarassment.

Thanks for reading

The mornings are hard/horrible - I should get out of bed and straight into the shower rather than pulling the duvet higher! I'm all calm again by the evenings - perhaps because I'm used to being on my own then. Time machine anyone? Take care all.

Big hugs, i am in a similar situation. My dh has said all the things you have written in your first post, although for me personally i feel we can work on them. However he disagrees & moved out 2 weeks ago for space. Im unsure what lies ahead. All the best.

You might find counsellng helpful -for you both- to help navigate th split in the least harmful way. It will help you deal witn telling the kids and how things are going to work post split.
Best of luck x

Don't be sad or feel pathetic. You've been lucky and had a lovely time together and you are ending as friends - that is nice! Though sure it feel awful but you aren't losing anything real, you're gaining a chance at happiness to add to everything else you have.

One thing though, no matter how amicable a break up is you both need space from each other to deal with it so is that possible?

I'm in a similar situation, have been hiding my head in the sand. But now he's told me he thinks we should split up. We started counselling before he said this, I think he knew then but chose not to say anything. I'm determined to continue with the counselling as I think it will help me sort out why I've let the intimacy go from the relationship, i'm just hoping that we can turn it around and that he's not made his mind up 100%. I want it to work out, it would be such a waste.

I'm in a similar situation, although we keep changing our minds on whether to split or not. No words of advice I'm afraid but thanks for starting the thread as it's good to know we're not the only ones going through this (although of course I wish you weren't!)