Im a pregnant step mum heading towards depression. Help!

[Suhavna]

The best day of my life was finding out I was pregnant. This soon changed when hubby found out. He has changed in so many ways. After I reached 12 weeks he told his children aged 8 and 11. They were excited. I just feel so sad with the way hubby has been treating me and it is drawing me to dislike his children because they are enjoying the emotional and physical abuse I go through. I started resenting my pregnancy although its something I have been wanting for years now. How do I move passed this and enjoy this magical time?

Physical abuse? From your "D"H? If it were me, I would leave "D"H and make a life for me and my child away from him.

You move OUT of this abusive man's house and get yourself and your baby to safety, then you can enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to the future. Please don't stay. Violence in pregnancy is extremely (horrifyingly) common and its often the time when a woman first experiences abuse at the hands of her husband. Please tell your GP and midwife what is going on and reach out to Women's Aid if your family are unable to help you.

makes me that his children not only see what is going on, but are enjoying it? what makes you think they are enjoying it?

also, if he is being abusive please leave. don't let you're child grow up in a house watching their mum be abused. or worse still abused themselves.

OP can I suggest you post in relationships as there is more traffic there and posters who regularly help people like yourself suffering from abuse.

Personally I think you need some help to move away from a very dysfunctional and damaging situation - you can't risk your physical and emotional health, or that of the baby by trying to address this in any other way by leaving.

There are people who can help such as womens aid and you should contact them.

Please don't let this situation escalate or put yourself at further risk

Hi Suhavna,

If you'd like us to move your thread over to Relationships, just click on the 'report' button and let us know.

Thanks Dawn.

Hope you come back to the thread OP.

We're heard back from the OP now - we're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic.

Hope you get some more advice and support there, Suhavna.

Bumping in case there are any MNetters who can offer some help.

Stepkids laugh while it is happening. Thanks for the advice friends. Is it normal for me to resent my pregnancy?

What does he actually do to you op?

If he is being horrid and abusive they may be laughing along in order to align themselves with him and not become targets themselves.

OP can you be specific about the physical abuse that you are experiencing? Is this from your H?

Please call Womens Aid right now.

Talk to them about the abuse and see what they can do to help you get away.
I can imagine you will enjoy your pregnancy and being a good mum far more when you are away from this abusive prick.
Please do NOT let your DC grow up in a house with this vile man.
It would be soooo damaging.
It's gonna be hard as your are pregnant but you can get away and you should do it fast!

He is abusing the kids too. I doubt they think it is funny - they will be scared too. They don't understand.

Focus on his actions. He is the abuser. This is a situation that can't continue. I suspect without him in your life you would enjoy your pregnancy (and your step children).

Where do you want to be in five years?

He won't change. This will get worse. Please don't think you will ever have a relationship with him without the abuse.

Women's Aid, Women's Aid, Women's Aid. Cannot emphasise too much how important it is that you have real life support.

Take care and be careful

There is no reason to resent your pregnancy other than the one this abuser is giving you.

Remove him from the equation.

Please call WA - they will help you.

I know it's difficult but other women have sadly been through this and come out the other side - happy and safe.

I'm a step mum and can't imagine that my step kids would enjoy seeing any form of abuse. They need to be protected from this as much as you, and your baby do. You need to get away, get help and have space to think. Your pregnancy will feel very differently I would imagine if you can process things in a safe environment. X

How are you today OP?

Is it normal for me to resent my pregnancy?

Well I suppose if you equate it with start of the abuse and the beginning of this change in circumstances for yourself, then its not unreasonable that you might resent the pregnancy. The fact is though that the pregnancy itself has not made your husband abusive - he just is abusive and the pregnancy has cause him to show his true colours. Perhaps he abused his first wife too - do you know anything about her circumstances? Either way, I would urge you to get yourself out of there and to a place of safety.