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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

exp has declared himself unemployed

28 replies

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 11:55

When i was pregnant, exp who had just dumped me said 'if you dare ever go to the csa, mark my words I will quit my job and make sure you never receive a single penny from me'

four years on and he's done exactly that. I had no choice but to contact cms as he used cm payments as a way to bully me and get what he wants, ie if you don't do x,y, and z, i'll not pay cm this month

Tensions are running quite high i suppose also as we have just about finished court proceddings and nothing really went his way. I also suspect that this is also a way to not pay the court fees (8K) as I'm in Scotland and eligble for legal aid

But what this now means is that I will REALLY struggle. Things weren't particularly easy as it was but now there will definitely be no money coming in I dread to think how I'm going to cope. Exp has 6+ properties which he rents out, but I have a feeling he will have moved the owner name into his brothers name. he was in a well paid job, wtf! He's 37 years old so will probably turn himself into a property developer (he was recently renovating a few of his flats-possibly to sell who knows)

So i need to do a land registry search asap but after looking online there are a few different companies, all seems quite confusing, does anyone know of the best one?

and I suppose i'll somehow need to prove he own properties and maybe take a few pictures og his top of the range BMW

but really I'm going to have to accept this arent I? He'll get away with not paying cm, see me struggle quite happily and at the weekends I have to wave goodbye to DS Angry Sad this is not fair I could cry

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attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 11:58

please tell me of any situations where cms sanctions have worked to get fair payments from scumbags like my exp?

I think I'm in shock, yet not actually surprised. I want to scream. How can he get away with this. WHY are people such arseholes!!!

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Cleo22 · 15/04/2015 12:20

You don't need to use a company to do a land registry search. you can do it direct yourself @ £3 a search.

Bogeyface · 15/04/2015 12:30

Presumably he is renting out these flats and living on the income?

Unless he is avoiding paying tax then HMRC will (after his next tax return) be able to confirm his income. If he is avoiding paying tax then you could open up a whole new world of hurt for him by reporting him.

I suggest that you do the searches, and then contact CMS with the information. I believe that they have a specific system for cases where a NRP is living a lifestyle wildly at odds with their claimed income so they can investigate.

www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_s/relationships_children_and_young_people_s/relationships_child_maintenance/relationships_child_maintenance_2012_scheme/relationships_child_maintenance_reviews_and_appeals/the_2012_child_maintenance_scheme_grounds_for_a_variation.htm

ivykaty44 · 15/04/2015 12:30

Does land registry cover Scotland? Or just England and Wales?

DayLillie · 15/04/2015 12:31

wck2.companieshouse.gov.ukwcframe?name=accessCompanyInfo

If he has moved them to a company you will need this. Documents are £1 and only have minimum info - there are companies on the web that will charge you £16+ a go Hmm

DayLillie · 15/04/2015 12:38

www.ros.gov.uk/services/fees/registers-direct-search-fees

This looks like the Scottish version

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 12:42

damn! I just paid £30 for a search before I got these replies...silly. I'll have a 7 day cooling off period though so hopefully can get a refund

Although I'm struggling to get anywhere with your link DayLillie, the information I put in doesnt seem to be accepted and keeps asking me to try again (even though it is the correct information)

I'll try out the other ones too, thank you!!!

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DayLillie · 15/04/2015 12:52

www.ros.gov.uk/services/ownership-search

Try again? Otherwise, do they have a phone number to call if there are problems. I have done that with the English one when I had technical problems.

Ratfinkandbobo · 15/04/2015 13:11

I've read your previous threads, this man really is an arsehole.
Report him to hmrc for tax evasion, I fucking would!

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:14

I did that back in January Ratfinkandbobo, possibly to no avail though

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attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:17

I wonder, if he's unemployed will he be seeking jobseekers allowance etc? surely not with all his capital, so perhaps that in otself could be proof he has plenty of money

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Ratfinkandbobo · 15/04/2015 13:20

Bless you, you've really been through it with this bastard making your life hell!
How does he get on with your son?

moomoob · 15/04/2015 13:25

I have no advice really, just want to say he's a prize CUNT!!!!! (I hate that word but sometimes it's the only word that fits). Hope you get somewhere with your searches

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:25

he gets on fine with him, and DS loves going to see him also. but I don't think exp deserves to see him if he pays nothing. Perhaps he expects me to feed him fresh air Sad

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Quitelikely · 15/04/2015 13:25

Keep reporting him for tax fraud.

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:31

well that was quick, the land registry search has already came back with a list. However the list is only two properties long and I know the full address of another two which he DEFINITELY owns. Can searches sometimes be wrong?

I think i'll call cms with this information now

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Rebecca2014 · 15/04/2015 13:33

He must surely be paying tax? if not I would threaten you will report him for tax fraud if he doesn't pay child support.

Me and my ex have a private arrangement but if he stopped paying me or used it as a weapon, I would not let him see our child till I got it sorted through csa. I know that is unpopular with a lot of people but like you, without child support we would really struggle to live and how dare he not pay for his own child. Good luck.

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:36

anyone ever been in this situation? I had heard, although not sure if it's true, that some powers cms have include forcing a sale of a house to pay cm. wishful thinking maybe.

I have childcare, a fast growing boy who needs clothes replacing constantly (well thats how it feels) hobbies he has and will want to keep up with, bills to pay aarrrggghhh! its like drama follows wherever he is, I cant imagine going to all that hasle of quitting a job etc just to make my life difficult, and the funny thing is..he cheated on me, and left me etc etc, he has no reason to want to make my life difficult

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attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:37

no he didnt declare his flats to hmrc as they were hmo properties and apparently wouldv'e cost too much to get fire doors etc fitted. arse

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DayLillie · 15/04/2015 13:37

You can search the actual addresses and find out who owns them, as well as the person (I don't think you can search the person on the England one, so that is a bonus)

Ratfinkandbobo · 15/04/2015 13:41

Huh, if they are HMO you can report him to his local council, especially if he is putting tenants lives at risk.
One way or another we'll find a way to nail the bastard!!!!!

SylvaniansAtEase · 15/04/2015 13:44

If they are HMO properties, is he renting them to students? If so, contact the uni with the addresses. That might also be a way of getting him shafted.

Keep on with the tax reporting though.

SylvaniansAtEase · 15/04/2015 13:48

And, needless to say, all this will come back to bite him on the bum, because one day he will be looking into the face of his adult son and not knowing how to answer the question 'So, why did you let me and Mum suffer, then? Can you tell me why I should respect you, Dad?'

Never, never cover for this shitbag when it comes to your son. Tell him the truth. It will not do you any favours to allow him to position himself as Dad of the Year while you struggle in a misguided attempt to not make him party to adult issues. Because one day this shit will do exactly the same to him when he sees he can't control or buy him: he'll use money as a means of punishment and control. He ISN'T a good dad and never will be, so don't make the mistake of helping him pretend to be one - your son will be the person to hurt.

attheendofmyteatheragain · 15/04/2015 13:52

I reported him to the council too, back in january. so i hope they investigated him

I called cms there with the info I had from the land registry search, they said they have put his info to the financial investigations unit Grin

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