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Original poster

Fight or flight?

36 replies

RebelRobin · 14/04/2015 17:13

I am having minor problems with my lovely partner who is so nice he won't block an ex girlfriend from all social media and phone. So, if it does carry on and we have the 'it's me or her' talk - because it will come to that eventually - and he still won't remove her, do I fight or flight?? Do I just say - you've made your choice and thats her, or do you put up a fight for him???

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
RebelRobin · 16/04/2015 22:55

Boozey, that is good advice thank you. But, my original question was...if he still won't remove her, do I fight or flight?? Do I just say - you've made your choice and thats her, or do you put up a fight for him???

How many here would just leave a good guy who has made a wrong decision ( in my mind), or should I kick up a fuss and make him delete her - eg fight for him???

OP posts:
rumred · 16/04/2015 23:22

No not acceptable to keep getting begging messages from an ex, regardless of how long you've been together. You're right to worry..he's being thoughtless/selfish/cheating

rumred · 16/04/2015 23:23

And like a pp said, Would you do it? No. Disrespectful

VanitasVanitatum · 16/04/2015 23:29

He probably still loves her - not in love with her but just residual feelings of caring for her and not wanting to hurt her.

I would feel very annoyed if I still cared for an ex and didn't want to slam a door in their face and a relatively new partner was being insecure and demanding about it.

You do not trust him - I know you say you trust him but not her but that's bloody ridiculous if you trusted him you would have nothing to feel anxious or worried about; you might still be irritated or feel 'disrespected' but you wouldn't be anxious.

BuyToLetNovice · 17/04/2015 06:54

Fight or flight? Depends on how much you like him and are willing to tolerate I suppose.
Entirely your choice... Smile

lavenderhoney · 17/04/2015 07:08

How do you know what the messages say and how do you know he doesn't reply?

Maybe he likes her as a friend. Did they break up amicably/ together a long time? Sure, it's nice he is still friends with an ex, depends on the context though! She doesn't know you're with him when she texts him. She isn't doing it to piss you off. It would depend on the content of the messages back and forth and I don't think she is texting into a void.

You say you will all meet up at some point, so are they in the same friendship circle? that would make it difficult to block her especially if they were friends before.

Only1scoop · 17/04/2015 07:17

'Kick up a fuss and make him delete her'

No don't MAKE someone do something they don't wish to do.

LineRunner · 17/04/2015 07:25

How do you know what is in the messages?

If your boyfriend is telling you, I would flee, very fast.

Only1scoop · 17/04/2015 07:27

It's a bit vague as you haven't seen them or read the replies?

lavenderhoney · 19/04/2015 12:47

Line runner, why would him telling op the mesage content be a problem?

LineRunner · 19/04/2015 15:53

Because he's telling her stuff that is upsetting her, and not doing anything about it.

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