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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So that's it.

10 replies

SharonCurley · 13/04/2015 19:05

I posted here several times during the last two years...May have name changed.Anyway it was all about my selfish partner who became increasingly selfish over the last few years and especially after we had children together.My wants or needs didn't come into the picture at all.I tried to make it work...tried to get over the arguments every weekend but there is no changing a selfish person.Anyway I went and did something that I had wanted to do for a very long time ...it meant a better quality of life for myself and the children.I felt happier than I had been in years.He told everyone that he was very happy for me to do this but at home it was clear that he was anything but.Our sex life has been very poor as I have felt no desire...it's hard to feel like being intimate with someone when you are exhausted and they don't really engage or show any love towards you.Anyway the other night I tried but the baby woke twice in between and each time I want to settle baby or Breastfeed and back into him...in the end I just felt like a piece of meat and explained how I felt.He exploded into a rage and told me how he was sick of me paying him lip service and to F off for myself.He said he would stay up all night with the baby if it meant we could have sex...he has never offered to do a night time in two years...hence the exhaustion on my part.he stormed off saying he was going to be up all night now and he may aswell do some work and what's the point In any of this because all he does is work work work....

OP posts:
fusspot66 · 13/04/2015 19:08

And when is he leaving?

fusspot66 · 13/04/2015 19:11

Sorry, that sounds passive aggressive. I mean, does 'So that's it' mean you're kicking him into touch?
He sounds like a twat.

Quitelikely · 13/04/2015 19:21

What are you asking?

SharonCurley · 13/04/2015 19:21

I've just reached my limit.Every decision,every comment...everything is all about him.I have wondered if he might be a narcissist....eg when I was sick he was angry towards me and not caring like you would expect...if I mentioned any of the kids were sick he never said oh poor so and so...it was always oh I think I might be getting that too of don't let them get sick on the bed or carpet.No empathy,v little romance,more interested in the house being clean than the children's needs,mots interested in his own life goals than anything else.he works away often and Life us so much easier when he is not here

OP posts:
SharonCurley · 13/04/2015 19:25

I'm not asking anything quite likely

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Quitelikely · 13/04/2015 19:29

Oops sorry people usually come here to ask for advice I just couldn't see what your question was.

Flowers
BitOutOfPractice · 13/04/2015 19:32

Sharon, use your apparent and totally justified rage to motivate you to kick him out

It'll be tough but so much better than this Thanks

SharonCurley · 13/04/2015 19:43

Sorry quite likely...I'm just updating I suppose as I've been here before for support and advice but have never been able to make a decision...

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nicenewdusters · 14/04/2015 10:07

If you didn't have children with him would you have left ages ago ? That's usually a deal breaker once you are totally honest with yourself.

The decision to split is agony (have just been through it) - but the relief is immense.

Are you anything like the person you were before you met him ? If not, you need to walk away before you can't get that person back.

You're right, he won't change, but you can change your life for yourself and your children.

SharonCurley · 14/04/2015 17:43

I would have left long ago.yes it is a very hard decision to make but I have felt a huge weight has been lifted as I start to take control of my life again

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