I need to end a friendship, but I don't know how.

[Cailindeas35]

Hi all.

I have a friend, if you could call her that for the last few years. In the early years I wasn't in a good relationship and had really bad self esteem and no boundaries whatsoever. I got out of the relationship nearly 2 years ago. I had a lot of counselling both before and after the breakup. So I have changes a lot. And I am no longer a doormat.
The reason I want to end the friendship is that I've realised she is not a friend at all. She is a nasty gossip, she talks about other friends behind there back, and I'm sure she's doing the same to me. I have absolutely nothing in common with her. She is competitive I got a new car recently, she then had to get one. I mentioned moving to the country, she moved to the country.

To cut a long story short. I have tried being standoffish, only answering ya or no. Or if she's saying something that offends me, I cut her short and say that I don't like that sort of talk.

As I said she is a vicious gossip, and if you fall out with her a very nasty person. But I cannot tolerate her any longer. I see her everyday at the school pickup. She comes into my car whether I'm on the phone or not. Plonks herself in. Our children are friends and I don't want them to fall out.

Today I deliberately, didn't arrive til bang on 3 gotkids in and drove off.

Any advice appreciated.
Sorry post a bit all over the place.

It sounds like she brings nothing positive to your life which you are now trying to move forward with. Self absorbed people only seek to drain you. Un drain yourself and cut her loose. Be honest with her and say that this friendship no longer works for you

I know thats what i need to do and more importantly what i need to do.
I dont know if i have the guts to have that conversation.
I did it before with another so called friend, so i guess ill have to man up and just do it.
Thks

Sorry want to do.

Are there any other mothers at the school gate you can talk to? If you avoid her long enough she will get the message.

As for getting in your car whether you are on the phone or not...what a bloody cheek!! If I were you I'd lock the car doors and pretend I was talking on the phone!

Be assertive and get rid of her. You are not a doormat anymore!

Just be polite and detached. She will soon lose interest. Never ever say anything negative about anything to anyone. She will use that against you. She sounds like a nasty piece of work.

And definitely actively cultivate other friends. Unless you fancy just making the school run just that instead of a social occasion.

I personally avoid parents that make the school run their social life.

There are other mothers, but have been avoiding them too because she comes over and continues with her conversation, which is always bitchy, gossipy, sometimes racist, homophobic etc. It embaresses me and I don't want the other mums to think I'm like her. Because she hangs off me I don't want to be tarred with the same brush. I feel like she is forever trying to get me to say something awful about somebody else. So that she can then go off to others and say "cailean deas " said. It sounds so childish.
But I really feel she is totally toxic. Some of the things she says about others are total lies. And I have called her out on them. But she has a brass neck and will not take the hint.

I'll try the lock the doors and just be in a rush always.

This for your replies.
Much appreciated.

Keep arriving at the last minute and "having to rush off". Let it die off...

I never say anything negative. I mind my own business, and live and let live.
I hate, hate, hate drama. And she a adores drama.
I got to know her through another "friend", who I cut all ties with about 18 months ago. They are the same type of people.
I don't make the school run a social life, but sometimes I need to organise play dates etc.
And some parents I do like and like to chat to occasionally.

Anyway I'll just have to be blatantly obvious from now on.