DH and i have been married for 18 years this year, together for 22 - I have spent my entire adult life with him as we met in my second year at Uni. Rather like my own family, he has always implied that he loves me for whats on the inside rather than the outside; he never says I look beautiful or anything, but he does proudly tell people how clever his wife is. I know lots of people would think this is ridiculous and I should be grateful to be loved for more than just my appearance but there has always been a little voice inside me that says, "you're ugly".
I have never been well-dressed or well-groomed etc & have always been significantly overweight. Last year I decided that I have had enough of being like this. I got a decent haircut, changed my glasses for contacts and started going to the gym. I have lost quite a bit of weight (hooray for me!) and bought some nicer clothes. I wear a bit more make-up to work, and my heels are a bit higher. Its all little changes, really, but all the little bits add up to make me feel much more confident and better about myself. The people i work with have noticed too, and i have had a lot of nice comments. I have added a lot of work colleagues on my Facebook recently, and we often chat about random things via Messenger, as you do.
As part of my overall upgrade, I decided to upgrade my underwear drawer, and bought some really nice matching sets. They aren't 'sexy' by anyone's standards, but they are nice. I have never ever owned matching underwear, and it makes me feel, well, pretty damn fabulous!
I put a picture of myself up on FB. it wasnt an amazing picture by any means, because i am dreadfully unphotogenic, but lots of my friends said nice things. DH simply posted, "too much chest". There wasn't.
DH thinks that I am having an affair, because i am wearing what he calls 'tarty underwear', and various men that I work with have 'liked' or commented on my posts on FB. He and i have a pretty rubbish relationship anyway - he has cheated on me several times, we have a child with SEN which has put a strain on all aspects of our relationship, and he has lsot several jobs due to drinking and poor time-keeping which has put a huge strain on our finances.
I won't deny that I like being admired. I feel as if i have suddenly come into the light after a long spell of being in the shadows. i havent turned into a supermodel or anything, i still have a lot of weight to lose and I'm not pretty but i like it when people ovbiously like talking to me (if that makes any sense). I am NOT having an affair.
I have held on and held on in this relationship for so long, despite all the crap, because i am afraid of how separation might affect our child. Why should he accuse me of having an affair? I am not going to go back to being frumpy and withdrawn just to soothe his crappy ego.