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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Find it hard to spend long periods of time with dp - is this the death knell for our relationship?

4 replies

FalseMonica · 13/04/2015 14:38

DP has gone back to work today after two weeks off and I couldn't be more pleased. This last week in particular has been really difficult - we have both been off, have argued a lot and I've felt hemmed in and stifled. It seems as if we can't spend more than a couple of days together without getting on each other's nerves.

We have been together for four years. I was single (with ds) for almost eight years before that and I guess I got used to my freedom. I love him to bits (and am actually looking forward to him coming back from work this evening, go figure!) but it really worries me that I seem incapable of spending condensed amounts of time with him without wanting to scream or run away!

He is quite different to me in that he's quite 'clingy', for want of a better word - we would live in each other's pockets if he had his way, but I need my space (cliche alert!) and time away from him to 'look forward' to seeing him again, Iyswim? I would happily live in separate houses sometimes Grin

I'm worried that this is bad news for our relationship though. Holidays should be times when you enjoy spending lots of quality time together, shouldn't they?

OP posts:
VenusRising · 13/04/2015 14:40

Live in separate houses then!

Clingy is a most unattractive attribute. I personally can't stand it.

FalseMonica · 13/04/2015 15:07

Well obviously that's not a realistic or affordable option.

OP posts:
notquitegrownup2 · 13/04/2015 15:14

I think that it's nice that you are looking forward to seeing him and that no, therefore, it isn't necessarily the end for you. You do need to try to communicate a bit more, however, to avoid both getting bruised. Be honest - and positive. Tell him that you missed him today. Tell him that it's fun, looking forward to him coming home and planning what to do together. And then, only then, say that you find long periods of time together hard, and that in future it would be good to plan your free time, together. Maybe he can't cope with your independence, and will be hurt by what you say. Or maybe it will make him feel more secure and more able to be more independent himself.

Best of luck

pocketsaviour · 13/04/2015 16:13

If it's not a realistic or affordable option to live separately, what will you do when the relationship ends?

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