DD -what should I do?

[Beadgirl]

DD and her friend, "Lucy", have their ups and downs. Sometimes Lucy can be spiteful, moody and gossipy. I know my DD is no angel too and of cousre I only here one side of the story.But

Monday - fine
Tuesday- DD came home in tears because Lucy had teased her all day because DD wasn't going trick and treating whilst Lucy was TTing with a group of girls from the same year.
Wednesday - DD comes home worried. Lucy has been in "a mood all day", refusing to speak to any of the girls. But as they came out of school Lucy asked DD to go for tea the evening of the school disco, so they could get ready together. DD very anxious about this, she didn't want to go. This situation has occured before over a playdate, where DD worried all weeknd that Lucy would be in a mood the day of the play-date!
Thursday - this morning I told DD that she should be honest with Lucy and say thank you for asking me but no thanks. Apparently DD did this and when Lucy asked why not DD told her that it was she hadn't been nice to her this week. Lucy said nothing but walked off. Later a group of girls from their yaer came over to ask DD why she had amde Lucy cry, DD told them, they rounded on DD and said that she was the nasty one.

DILEMMA wtf do i do, if anyhting????

all oponions welcome.

Someone please?

Hmm tricky... My DD1 is only 3 so haven't come up against this is such a sophisticated form yet. Thinking back to how my mum handled these endless situations that I got into - be a sympathetic ear, make suggestions for handling 'Lucy' but in the end your DD needs to reach her own conclusions. How old is she BTW? My mum always let me know which of my chums she thought weren't that good for me but of course they were always the 'magnets' as tended to be the popular if often bitchy gals. I think prob best not to get too involved in the whys and wherefores - just be there to cheer her up on bad days. Suggest play dates with other friends because the more options she has the better. Talk to her teacher if needs be. I feel for you!!

Oh god, that brings back horrible memories. Little girls can be so spiteful. I think it's a case of letting them sort it out amongst themselves. I would probably encourage my dd to look for new friends but to be honest it never worked with me.

my dd was like this last year she was in year 2 and it was her and 2 other girls, 3's a crowd and all that she'd be so upset cus they had left her out etc etc tbh it really got on my nerves that they kept upsetting her but i let them all get on with it and gave her as much support, cuddles etc as icould and now she's not in their class its fine.

I know your daughter felt upset by the teasing, but obviously Lucy was also extremely hurt by your daughter's refusal to come for tea and by saying that she had been unkind to her.
Was the teasing really malicious or was it just part of the general teasing that all kids do? Is there a chance your dd was being too sensitive about it? Is she a little over-sensitive sometimes about other things?
Are they good friends most of the time?

Thanks for the replies.
Yes -perhaps she is a little sensative. She's 10 btw. I have tried to encourage her to be friends with others but tbh it is difficult as their year is boy-heavy so there is little choice.

I will follow your ideas and try not to get too involved.
Oh, isn't parenthood hard?

Mmm, I would leave it. IIRC, think I used to get into all sorts of 'situations' at school at that age, as do most, and my mum would never have even known about it. I imagine it all got sorted out in our own way in the end as Im sure that it will for your daughter too.