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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do we need help?

21 replies

mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 10:55

So I have previously had depression and "recovered" enough to come off my medication. Since having DC it has reared its ugly head to the point DH said "just go to the doctors" I did and got back onto my medication. I have been much, much brighter and better since being back on them. Now I ran out of them last week stupid of me I know and asked DH to pick up my prescription on Friday. He forgot and we didnt realise 'til after the surgery had closed.

Cue a weekend of me being an absolute arse, being overly sensitive at everything DH says and an ensuing row last night which ended up with me being shut away in our bedroom til I had found some sort of normality.

He says it's just because I havent had my tablets but Im worried it's something deeper. I love both DH and DC to pieces but sometimes I do just think I'd like a bit of time just me and DH. Take this weekend. We went shopping for our holiday bits and had a full day of faffing and seeing to DC who was whinging and crying (he's not usually like this) and ended up with DH having to take him outside whilst I rushed around grabbing what I wanted and came away with half my items in the wrong size.

But on the flipside when I do get an offer of someone having him whilst we have some time together, I feel bad.

DH said to me on Sat that he wanted us to sit and have a nice meal when we were out at lunch rather than moving DC to a highchair (when he was perfectly happy in his carseat) where he'd just end up unsettled.

I just dont know what to do. when I said to DH I was worried about us he said that it's just because I havent had my tablets but Im worried incase it's something deeper.

OP posts:
Partyringer · 13/04/2015 10:58

You sound very anxious.Flowers What are the tablets for?

BifsWif · 13/04/2015 11:09

Which tablets are they? I know skipping a dose or two of citalopram makes me really unreasonable, depressed and argumentative.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 13/04/2015 11:11

Get back on the meds then see how you feel.

mommyof23kids · 13/04/2015 11:24

We all have days like that. Sometimes everything is hard and there is no fun to be had. It's a new day so put it behind you, get back on your meds and vow to try and laugh about it when you're hit with another weekend like it...because it'll happen again. It's just one of the joys of parenthood.

Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 12:09

BifsWif they ARE citalopram xx

I just feel that I look forward to our weekends together (he works alternate weekends) and at the end of each weekend spent together, something has happened thats ruined the weekend.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 13/04/2015 12:43

In my case, my relationship was a major factor in my depression. For the longest time, I thought it was the other way round.

What was the problem on Saturday - I don't quite understand? Does someone seem to sabotage your weekends together?

Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 12:47

I think it was hubbys way of saying he wanted us to have a meal without me constantly fussing over/with son and have an adult meal. I always seem to do something to upset the weekend. And Im fed up of it

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 13/04/2015 13:31

But on the flipside when I do get an offer of someone having him whilst we have some time together, I feel bad.

Can you say why it makes you feel bad? Because it sounds like you're crying out for someone to give you some child-free hours so you can reconnect with your DH as adults.

Do you feel guilty if you are not with DS 24hrs? Could this be a facet of PND?

BifsWif · 13/04/2015 13:42

Don't blame yourself too much OP x

I used to think I'd 'ruined' weekends too and feel awful about it, but cut yourself some slack! You've got an illness that can affect your mood if you don't take your tablets, that's all. Make sure you don't run out again, it can really mess you up when you miss one or two. Are you having councilling or anything too? The tablets worked for me, councilling didn't, but I was eventually able to come off them after I took up excercise. Please don't beat yourself up, get your tablets and look forward to this weekend. Is your husband quite supportive normally?

Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 13:43

pocket youve hit the nail on the head - i feel like we need a break but then feel like Im neglecting DS if he spends the night/few hours in the care of my parents whilst we are off.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 13:48

BifsWif He is usually yep bu I think he's starting to feel it a bit because Ive become a bit of a nightmare. I think also, as he's never had depression/anxiety he doesn't quite understand it.

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 13/04/2015 13:54

OP, you need to ring the doctors asap and get some more tablets. It is NOT good to come off citalopram suddenly. You need to taper down the dose gradually. If you look up 'citalopram' and 'withdrawal' you can see that a very high percentage of people who come off those pills suddenly suffer anxiety, irritability and emotional instability.

I don't think it's at all unreasonable to want time together alone as a couple - in fact, I'd say it's essential. Can you get help from a babysitter, or from friends/family to have a date night ever so often?

Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 13:59

shove Ive been on citalopram before so know about the withdrawal effects etc. I got some tablets this morning and have already taken some.

We certainly can have DS stay ovr at my parents but I also feel guilty when he does as though Im not doing what a parent should do and sending him way

OP posts:
BifsWif · 13/04/2015 14:57

Don't feel guilty! Your DS would love a night at his grandparents, they get spoiled rotten and you and DH get a much needed night together. It could make all the difference in your relationship and a happy mummy and daddy make a happy child. My DS has been staying at GPs since he was a few months old, he's now five and loves his nights away! You are entitled to some alone time too, give it a go if you can x

pocketsaviour · 13/04/2015 15:02

Absolutely agree with bifs it's good for DCs too to get used to not always being with mummy 24hrs a day, makes it much easier to get used to going to nursery, etc.

This is not an indulgence for you two, it's a treat for your LO, a treat for the GPs, and some much needed "relationship maintenance" time for you two!

Make sure you get your tablets in future - do you have a local pharmacy who will collect a repeat prescription for you? My local Boots order it for me automatically and then text me to remind me to come and pick it up - very useful when you're rushing around trying to organise the chaos that LOs can bring!

Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 15:06

You just reminded me pocket to give my local Asda a call about this service.

I think maybe DS can have a trip to the g-parents this weekend. He's onl stayed once but was fine. I think it's just me being a little selfish too as Im back at work full time

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsnlw · 13/04/2015 15:10

Thankyou very much for all your lovely replies x

OP posts:
BifsWif · 13/04/2015 15:16
Flowers
Original poster
mrsnlw · 14/04/2015 11:07

Not sure if its the placebo effect but feel SO much better today after taking my tablets yesterday

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 14/04/2015 14:55

That's good to hear :)

BifsWif · 14/04/2015 18:58

Great news! Smile

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